In an effort to teach parents effective discipline styles, the Department of Human Development and Family Studies and the Child Development Laboratory School teamed up for the first time to hold a Parents’ Night Monday.

Malisa Rader, parent coordinator for the Child Development Laboratory School, said it was an all-inclusive event. Eleven parents attended.

Due to parking restrictions and limited space on campus, Rader said they chose to hold Parents’ Night in the Pine Room of Collegiate Methodist Church, 2622 W. Lincoln Way.

The main goal behind the night’s activities was to introduce parents to different guidance techniques based on positive discipline through show and tell techniques, open discussions and time for specific questions from the group, she said.

“These [were] just ideas to try out that are age-appropriate for [parents]. There is no one right or magical formula for every family,” Rader said. “Sometimes it’s so much easier to be negative to children. We often need to stop and think about what we want the child to do, instead of not want them to do.”

Beth Fleming, extension family life specialist, was a guest speaker and led the group of parents in discussion. Fleming is also a mother of three, who has raised her children since their teenage years as a widowed mother.

To make sure the parents were involved in the discussion, Fleming used a variety of activities and discussion starters.

“I was pleased with the insight and wisdom from the group. We had a very diverse group with different points of view,” she said.

One of her techniques was a survey taken by the parents to evaluate and show how they approach rules and regulations held in general.

“[Parenting] formulas don’t work quite as well as we want sometimes. There are a number of things other than guidance that can influence the child,” Fleming said. “We need to think about where we’re going with the discipline and where the outcomes are going.”

Fleming said parents often don’t realize they are too focused on the present instead of the consequences their children’s right or wrong behaviors will have in the future.

“We go toward what we focus on and one of the problems of parenting is that we forget what we really, really want,” Fleming said. “We forget to look at the big picture.”

Another topic Fleming emphasized to the parents was the line between the “harsh” and “wimpy” parenting styles. What Fleming was trying to get across to the group was the effects their parenting style can have on the child in other situations, such as at school or with friendships, she said.

“I wanted the parents to brainstorm the differences between the harsh and wimpy parenting,” she said. “We’re going to improve, look at the big picture and move forward.”

Rader said one of the reasons parents took part in the night’s discussion and activities was to gather extra help and support for raising their child. She said the parents wanted to learn new ideas and make sure their family was on the right track.

“They [could] network with other families to know they’re not alone in their struggles in their family,” she said.

Richard Svatos, father of three from Ames, decided to attend Parents’ Night after seeing the sign-up sheet in his child’s preschool.

“I thought it was time to get a refresher course on child-rearing tips,” he said.

The most important technique Svatos said he learned was the reminder to do more problem-solving with his kids and do what works for them too.

Rader and Fleming coordinated the event with Carol Alexander Philips and Donna Oliver, who both work for the human development and family studies department.