The stress and dread surrounding Valentine’s Day may start weeks in advance, and can affect those in relationships and those who are single.

Lenore Binen, staff psychologist for Student Counseling Services, said stress is just one of the many problems single students and couples may endure on Valentine’s Day.

“People start dreading Valentine’s Day weeks in advance,” she said. “Everything starts right after New Year’s is over. It takes weeks to get through this holiday.”

Binen said it can be difficult for a single woman to see others receiving flowers and gifts. She said Valentine’s Day can increase the feeling of loneliness for both men and women and make them feel the need to be in a relationship.

Ronald Werner-Wilson, director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Clinic, said America is a pro-marriage society that can view people who are not in a relationship as odd.

Werner-Wilson, assistant professor of human development and family studies, said to ignore media outlets’ promotions of Valentine’s Day.

“Stay away from the radio with love songs and commercials,” he said.

Instead, Werner-Wilson suggests engaging in positive self-talk.

“Remember you are still a valuable person,” he said.

Binen suggested spending the day with friends or family rather than other couples. She also said people who are depressed about the holiday should buy themselves something special.

Binen said single people should remember the grass is not always greener on the other side.

“People in relationships have another set of issues to deal with,” she said. “Life is rarely perfect.”

High expectations for Valentine gifts also causes tension between couples.

“It can be disappointing if you are expecting an engagement ring and receive a Hershey bar,” Binen said.

Gender differences can also cause problems.

According to studies conducted by Werner-Wilson, men often wait until the last minute to plan for Valentine’s Day, which can lead to disappointment, arguments, and even doubts about the relationship.

Jeremy James, senior in animal science, agreed Valentine’s Day can be stressful for couples.

“You are never sure if what you are getting is enough and you don’t want to let your partner down,” he said.

Werner-Wilson created a 32 question “relationship check-up” for couples. The quiz asks questions similar to those used in research studies and is available at www.fcs.iastate.edu/marriage/ check-up.asp.

Students can also contact student counseling services in the Student Services Building. Call 294-5056 to schedule an appointment.