I think it’s time for Ames to be noticed. As students, we will all spend the mandatory four years, if not more, in this town. We study, work and play in this Midwestern equivalent to a city, and for the most part, Ames repays the favor with movies, music and entertainment.

For the past few years, this has been enough for me. Ames has always seemed diversified enough to satisfy the entertainment needs of this Iowa boy.

That feeling, however, disappeared the other day.

In Soap Lake, Wash., an economically dwindling town once known for its rare mineral-water lake, two local entrepreneurs are planning to build a tourist attraction unlike any other in the world. If all goes as planned, the city will soon have a 60-foot-tall Lava Lamp, complete with observation tower.

The cost of heating several tons of the mystery goo will probably be more than the actual tourism revenue itself. And the city will have to hire additional security to pry the throngs of kids with bloodshot eyes and Doritos in hand away from the attraction.

I have an idea that will put Ames on the map. It’s cheap, it’s easy, and it doesn’t require playing Jefferson Airplane 24 hours a day.

I propose we make Ames a Canadian territory.

I’m anything but a politician, but I’m going to say that our legislators should have no problem passing this change into law. Suddenly, everything changes.

Student Health fees will no longer be necessary; everyone gets free health care. DPS wouldn’t have to worry so much about underage drinking, since every student would be of legal age.

Need wildlife? Check out the crows. Need fishing? Take your chances at Lake LaVerne.

We’ve got some of the top names in entertainment. If it’s comedy you’re looking for, look no further than Jim Carrey, Howie Mandel and Martin Short.

And the music! Neil Young, Shania Twain and Our Lady Peace all hail from our new country.

There are a few downsides to this new merger. We’re going to have to do something about the music.

Avril Lavigne will be the first to go. I will have no singer in my country who can’t pronounce “David Bowie.” Too many hours spent trying to rhyme “boy” with “boi” seems to have warped the mind of this so-called musical wunderkind.

And most importantly, we must rid Canada of Celine Dion. She’s back from her 1999 hiatus, and there’s a chance that she could sing again. If we can’t accomplish this final goal, I recommend abandoning the “Ames, Canada” project altogether, and instead focus our attention toward another goal — building the world’s largest indoor couch used as lawn furniture.

Aaron Ladage is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Tripoli. He is the assignment arts and entertainment editor of the Daily.