Dear Santa, Hi, it’s Trevor at Iowa State. How is the North Pole? I bet it’s really cold up there, huh? How are all of the reindeer? Is Mrs. Claus feeding you enough?

I have sort of a long list this year Santa, but I promise I’ve been good — I haven’t fought with my sister all year. Anyway, if you could work on some of these things I’d be a happy boy on Christmas morning.

1. Please revive my two favorite bands — M”tley Cre and Megadeth. Just give me one last kick-ass record from the Cre and from Megadeth. Someone is being naughty and telling Tommy Lee his solo music is good. Get rid of that person and get Tommy on board for a Cre record followed by a huge arena tour.

As for Dave Mustaine — talk some sense into him, Santa. He isn’t fooling anybody; we know his “injury” amounts to falling off the wagon. So please, get Marty Friedman and Nick Menza back in the band so Megadeth can show these nu-metal bands what real metal is.

2. I would like to see a fusion of Incubus and Hoobastank. Listen, Santa — I know you hate them as much as I do, but I hate to deprive all of their fans. So I propose we just make the two into one band. Then, instead of having our eardrums molested by both bands, we just have to put up with one band being played on the radio and MTV 784 times a day! The names would be easy to combine — Hoobus, Incu-stank, Stankubus, Incuhoo, whatever. As long as Brandon takes his shirt off, the band’s 13-year-old female fans won’t care.

3. The following “artists” not only deserve lumps of coal, but also to be removed from the music industry — permanently:

Nick Carter: Honestly, Santa, who is the guy who said to Nick Carter, “Hey, I love your work with the Backstreet Boys, I think you really have the talent to release a solo record”?

Creed: OK, you love Jesus. Your lead singer even has his hair cut like Jesus. Great. They are the biggest cheeseballs in the world, Santa. Have you seen that video for “Arms Wide Open” where he does the double-fist clench about 100 times and then reaches for the sky? This has to stop somewhere.

Dashboard Confessional: Is it a band or is it one guy, Santa? Who knows and who cares? Get him (them) out of here! I can identify with his lyrics, though, because I was once in junior high and wrote really stupid letters to girls, too. Naughty. Naughty. Naughty.

Ja Rule: I don’t know if you read my columns in the Daily, Santa, but if you do, you know I strongly dislike Ja Rule. I know I shouldn’t hate anyone, but this guy has to go. He was creative with the “sensitive thug” act for the first 20 songs, but the next 40 got a little old. His music is genius compared to his acting, though.

I don’t want to get greedy, but if you decide I have been good this year, consider Good Charlotte, Simple Plan, Juvenile, Mystikal, Nelly and Avril Lavigne as well.

I would also like to see the return of “Headbangers Ball” on MTV.

Bring back the Ball, Santa. People loved it.

I hope you can give me these things for Christmas, Santa, and I hope everything goes okay delivering all the presents. I’ll make sure I leave you cookies and milk.

Merry Christmas,

Trevor

Trevor Fisher

is a senior in journalism

and mass communication from Knoxville. He is

the arts and entertainment senior reporter for the Daily.