Hello, this is not the person you were trying to reach. The person who gave you this number did not want you to have their real number…”

The voice mail message then goes on to suggest some of the reasons why the Rejection Hotline was dialed. It may be because the rejecter got a “psycho stalker vibe,” or “they feel going out with you is about as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.”

The Rejection Hotline has 14 numbers in U.S. cities, and a line in Dublin, Ireland. The service was started just for a small group of friends, but though word of mouth, expanded so quickly that it crashed the first system, said Jeff Goldblatt, founder of the rejection hotline.

“We started the whole thing as a joke that has suddenly taken off beyond our wildest expectations,” he said.

Goldblatt was out at the bars with a few friends when he came up with the idea for the hotline.

Inspiration came from an unusual muse, “an older, heavyset, bald guy,” he said.

As Goldblatt and his friends watched, the man walked up to a young, attractive blonde girl, who promptly rejected him, “publicly humiliating him.”

“We couldn’t help but feel bad for the guy,” Goldblatt said.

The pity for the harsh rejection led to a debate — which was worse: the public rejection, or the delayed rejection of a fake phone number?

“Normal made-up phone numbers give a false sense of hope because the person assumes they must have just gotten a digit wrong,” Goldblatt said.

“But a message like the one on the Rejection Hotline recording leaves nothing to doubt and lets the person know exactly where they stand.”

Though Goldblatt sees the hotline as a nicer way to let down a person, Andrea Bueltel, senior in biology, thinks it’s mean. “It’s rude,” she said. “It’s not the right way to do it.”

Bueltel admits a system would be nice when some guys at the bars just don’t give up, but thinks there must somehow be a better way to tell a guy you’re not interested.

Since conception, the Rejection Hotline upgraded and expanded to the Internet, and soon e-mail requests were pouring in for a hotline in their city, Goldblatt said. “It was simple supply and demand.”

The service is currently going through a major overhaul to increase the call capacity to keep the system from crashing on a regular basis.

“There are more than a couple of phone companies and voice mail providers across the country that don’t like me too much right now,” Goldblatt said.

New locations will be added during the upgrade. “Iowa should have a Rejection Hotline soon,” he said.

When the hotline arrives, Goldblatt advises people to use the it with caution.

“It’s really meant as kind of a last resort — for people who can’t take a hint or just won’t take no for an answer,” he said.

“The dating scene has always been like a game — you win some, you lose some. And if you get this number, you lost one,” Goldblatt said.

Carolyn Cutrona, professor of psychology, doesn’t approve of the hotline. “I think it’s funny, but I think there’s no need to humiliate people — life has enough humiliation,” she said.

Recovering from rejection

If the rejectee takes the message so hard they end up in therapy, they may meet their match through another new dating service, Theradate.

Now available in Los Angeles and New York, Theradate makes matches by looking at psychological profiles, according to their Web site. Attempts to contact Theradate were unsuccessful.

Hailed on the site as “a radically old idea in matchmaking,” and “the most sensible matchmaking service ever,” Theradate is still in the beginning stages.

It was founded this March by Dr. Frederick B. Levenson, a New York psychoanalyst, after “numerous requests” by patients.

“People who are interested in their own behaviors and how those behaviors impact others make the best life partners. These are the people in psychotherapy,” the Web site said.

To join Theradate, a person must currently be in therapy for at least two months or discharged for no longer than two years.

They must also have cooperation from their therapist. The therapist fills out all of the paperwork and submits it to Theradate.

“Your therapist is dedicated to knowing you better than you know yourself. He or she can be far more objective than anyone about you — even you!” the site said.

The forms are then evaluated by the staff of psychologists, social workers, psychiatrists, psychoanalysts and counselors at Theradate.

When a match is made, the pair receives each other’s phone numbers.

If the first try doesn’t work out, Theradate guarantees seven more attempts over the course of a year.

“We encourage the same things you encourage — honesty, monogamy, and dedication to finding the right life partner,” the site said.

Charter membership costs $800 for the first 750 people in each metro area. After the quota is met, the matching begins, and the cost of new membership increases to $2,000.

If the pilot program is successful, Theradate plans to expand to other major U.S. cities.

Cutrona thinks the program is a “bad idea.”

“It’s psycho-babble mumbo jumbo,” she said. “I don’t think we know enough about what makes people compatible.”

Psychologists do know that people are attracted to others because of their physical appearance and similar attitudes and interest, Cutrona said. Matching by these qualities does not require such a high price tag. “I think it’s a rip-off,” she said.