Earlier this weekend, Rick interviewed his NBA superstar alter ego, currently facing domestic assault charges after an alleged incident on the July 4 with his girlfriend Tijuana at their condo in Orlando, Fla. Mr. Kerr, accompanied by his lawyer, a public relations representative and a group of his friends, sat down to chat with the Daily about what took place.

Rick: Well, Mr. Kerr, I guess we’ll get right to the question that everyone has for you right now: what happened the night of July 4?

RK: Well, first of all, I just want to thank God. I am very blessed to live the life I do, you know. He has a plan for me, and all I can do is follow that.

Rick: So you are accused of physically assaulting your girlfriend and illegal possession of a firearm, but you say you are following God’s plan for you?

RK: I mean, yeah. This is one of the obstacles the Mighty One has placed before me, and I just have to deal with it, you know. He wants to see how I face a challenge like this.

Rick: But you still haven’t told us what happened the night of the altercation.

RK: Alleged altercation, man.

Rick: Sorry, the night of the alleged altercation.

RK: Well you see, what had happened was, one of my kids was lighting some fireworks near the new Mercedes I had just bought for Tijuana, and she wasn’t too happy with that, you know. So she started yelling at him to stop, and I was like, “That ain’t even your kid, stop messing with him.”

Rick: So you had other family present when this all occurred?

RK: Well, when it allegedly occurred, yes, there was other family there. I’m a father. I have six kids, and they all wanted to spend time with their daddy for the holiday, so their mothers all brought the kids over to celebrate.

Rick: So that must have been pretty tough sharing attention with all the children and their mothers?

(At this point, Mr. Kerr leans over and confers with his lawyer and PR rep.)

RK: Uh, yeah, it’s real hard, I mean, I’m on the road a lot, so I only get to see them when we travel through the city they live in. The cool thing about it, though, is I can go get a home -cooked meal and spend time with one of my kids in six different cities, that’s one-half of the cities in the NBA.

Rick: I think you mean one—fifth.

RK: What? Are you calling me dumb just because I didn’t go to college, or that I sat out my senior year of high school so I wouldn’t get injured and hurt my draft position? I could have gone to any community college I wanted man. I got a 14 on my ACT, you know?

Rick: No, I never said that. I was just telling you that your math was wrong on this one.

RK: Yeah, whatever.

Rick: So back to the night of the incident. If this was all family at your house, why did you pull out a gun you don’t own?

RK: Well that’s where it gets complicated, you see I.Wait! You mean the gun I allegedly pulled out.

Rick: Sure.

RK: Well, Tijuana and I started yelling, and she smacked me. Now she does this all the time, but I had a new Reebok commercial to shoot the next day, so I didn’t want her messing up my face. So I pushed her down. She got up and started shooting bottle rockets at me. When she did that, I said, “Two can play at that game.” So I went into my house and allegedly got my gun. That’s when the neighbors called the cops.

Rick: So you pulled a gun on your girlfriend for shooting fireworks at you?

RK: Yeah man, those things are dangerous. I could’ve lost an eye.

Rick: Yeah, but now you are facing jail time, and you could possibly be suspended or have your contract terminated by the NBA. What would happen then?

RK: Man, I have made all kinds of new friends since I became rich and famous, I know that they got my back and take care of me, just like they know I’d do the same for them. (Laughter came from the group of friends at this point.)

Rick: So what happens now? You go to court in two days, what do you think the judge will decide? You could be facing 25 years in prison.

RK: Are you serious, man? Did you forget that I am a celebrity, let alone an NBA superstar? That defense alone is better than having Johnny Cochran as my lawyer, although I did try to hire him. He said it wouldn’t even be worth his time to come to court with me, since I’ll be let off anyway.

Rick: So if you are let off, will you get rid of the gun? And what about your Tijuana, do you guys still have a future?

RK: I can’t get rid of the gun, man. There are too many haters out there that want what I got. As far as Tijuana goes, yeah we are staying together. She’s pregnant with my child right now, plus, she’s going to be testifying on my behalf at the trial.

Rick: Why would she stay with you after what happened? She must really love you, or at least your money.

RK: Why would she not want to be with me? It’s not like a beat her all the time, or put a gun to her head.all the time. Even if I wasn’t rich and famous she would still love me, wouldn’t she?

Rick: Well Mr. Kerr, that’s all the time we have. Thanks.

RK: Wouldn’t she? People would like me even if I wasn’t an NBA star, right? I would still be innocent if I was a bus driver or a janitor, right?

Rick Kerr is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Des Moines.