Suzanna knows it’s her fault she’s fat. She eats way too much – much more than is fair considering all the starving children in the world. Suzanna will often eat second and third helpings at meals, even when it’s obvious she’s not hungry. She does it to show off.

Sometimes Suzanna will order a side of fries or have a tasty dessert even when everybody else at the table is having a small meal. She does it because she’s fat and because she’s stupid and it’s all her own fault.

Suzanna is a bad person. And she knows it, too. All fatties know they’re bad people.

Suzanna says she was born fat, but I don’t believe her. Both of her parents are very skinny and attractive, and I don’t believe any of that garbage about biology having a role in Suzanna carrying her body mass in a different way than others. I don’t believe that Suzanna has tried for years to lose weight or be skinny. I really do not believe those stories about how one summer Suzanna went on a diet, either.

Suzanna’s church has told her that it is a sin to be fat and that she should not show her face there any more if she’s going to insist on not losing weight and being normal. I don’t know why she tries to keep it a secret, as if everybody can’t tell just by looking at the way she walks and talks and eats everything up that she’s a stupid fatty.

She chooses to be a fatty because it gets her attention and makes her different and trendy.

Her parents are ashamed, and I don’t blame them. They tried to fix Suzanna when she was a kid by making her wear tight clothes and stop eating, but it obviously didn’t work. They tell everyone at church how they found Suzanna huddled in the closet, clutching pastries and candy bars to her chest, gorging herself.

We are all so much better than Suzanna. Suzanna is fat and stupid. She is lazy and ignorant, and she should have a heart attack and die. I’m not prejudiced or anything. I can deal with her being fat, I just don’t like how when I’m having a peaceful meal, Suzanna’s eyeing my vegetables and bread, thinking about eating them herself. It makes me feel very uncomfortable, and I know she does it, too, because all fat people do is think about eating food all day.

Last fall some kids at Suzanna’s high school – some very skinny kids – got tired of what a bad person Suzanna was. These were the kids who often had to watch Suzanna as she unpacked her lunchbox in the cafeteria, sometimes having to watch her pig out on four or five items at a meal. These kids – these poor kids who had to watch the tubby eat lunch every day, you understand – thought it would make sense to slash Suzanna’s tires.

It would be funny, wouldn’t it? If fat Suzanna were to one day drive her large self home only to find her car had been vandalized in such a way that she died? I would certainly laugh a thousand laughs at the stupid girl for being so selfish and fat.

I’m so glad the school board voted down this silly notion that we should do something special to protect stupid fatties like Suzanna from the “ridicule” and “cruelty” of their classmates. Suzanna thinks she’s special because she’s fat, and the school board is very tired of hearing her complaints.

We’re not going to budge – every kid has to go through these things in high school and fat kids are definitely not going to be an exception. If we had special rules against discriminating against every single type of student out there, we’d have to somehow protect them from getting beat up just because of things like being black or gay or ugly or different, and the school board simply doesn’t have time for that kind of thing.

Last month somebody spray painted the words “worthless fatty” on Suzanna’s locker. Perhaps it was her face – I really do not have time to recount all the details. Then the next week Suzanna was hanging fliers of Camryn Manheim, Star Jones and Roseanne all about the bulletin boards, and she had the audacity to complain to the principal when the other kids – the skinny kids again, so it’s OK – ripped down the posters, tied Suzanna to a post and gagged her with the “fat pride” posters.

Everybody’s glad those kids hurt Suzanna. Her being fat is one thing, but rubbing it in our faces by putting up posters of other fat people? That’s disgusting. These fat people, too – they were eating all sorts of junk food, shoving it in their oversized mouths. Do they really think normal people like me need to see that garbage? And what if kids saw that kind of dirty material hanging on the walls? I’m glad those kids ripped the posters down and taught the fatty a lesson.

If Fatty Suzanna wants kids to stop making fun of her, she just has to stop being so different. If she just lost weight and started wearing tighter clothes . if she just stopped looking up to other fatties like her around the world . if she just stopped shoving it in our faces that she’s so damned proud of being fat . then those other kids would probably stop slashing her tires and spray painting her face and tying her to posts.

I can’t believe stupid Suzanna and her dad (who is not fat at all, so I don’t see why he cares) want the school board to protect her. If they want protection for her, then maybe they need to make their own schools for all the different kids – the black ones, the gay ones, the stupid ones, the ugly ones.

If they want protection, we should just concentrate those types of kids – the ones that aren’t skinny and white and straight and pretty -in camps or reservations, and make sure they never leave.

Then nobody would make fun of them. And they wouldn’t bother us. And the school board wouldn’t have to hear complaints from kids who aren’t perfect and white and blond.

Suzanna knows it’s her fault she’s fat. And she is not worth saving because she is not like me.

Cavan Reagan is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Bellevue, Neb. He is the news editor of the Daily.