As many people know about me, I love to laugh. Sunday night gave me another example of how humorous sports can be.

On the last day of the NHL season, the playoff-bound Chicago Blackhawks were hosting the Columbus Blue Jackets in a surprisingly heated game.

In the second period, the rough hitting led to an all-out fight between participants from both teams.

The melee sent 10 players to the penalty box. That’s right, a full squad from each team got to lounge in the sin bin for at least two minutes, with eight players receiving 10-minute major fouls.

This got me to thinking, what would happen if a whole team got thrown out of a game? Who would take their place?

No, We Don’t Play No Scrubs

Going back to hockey, it’s not such a bad thing to have five skaters out of the game at one time. They shift lines so much that it wouldn’t be that much of a factor to go one minute, period or even a full game without a full team available.

Basketball teams would also lose five people. However, their situation may be more dire. Roundball squads are known more for two or three superstars and a bunch of role players. Losing five may have you watching a team of professional scrubs lose out to the Grizzlies – who aren’t much above that level.

Football would lose the most participants (11). Some teams could be all right at quarterback or running back, but get to the second-string defensive backs or offensive tackles and coaches start to realize their worst nightmare.

Then there’s the ultimate lowering of talent, baseball. To go from a benchwarmer to an everyday field player takes time and effort. Some in the dugout may have enough talent to make their way on the field, but a whole team of benchwarmers? Yikes! Not the team for me.

You know, maybe the hardball squads can muster their talents into a one-man team, such as those great efforts of Bobo the Elephant and Bugs Bunny.

Absurd Predictions

Where can you go to learn leadership and hone your skills in the heat of battle? Welcome to the athletic army, where the uniforms aren’t too baggy and egos are lost every night.

It’s draft weekend in the NFL and WNBA and six Cyclone hopefuls are ready to be promoted to the next rank – the ultimate one – pro status.

The question isn’t whether these people will be drafted, but rather, where their next tour of duty will be.

There are over 100 women gouging for 64 tryouts onto a WNBA team and with only two ISU players given good looks, there may be leftovers. However, I don’t see any Cyclones among the number of schools left to rinse off of my plate.

Angie Welle has been projected by many as a second-round pick, but people can’t possibly pass on her size and deft touch around the bucket. The Indiana Fever need height, giving reason why unlucky number 13 will be good for the Fargo native.

Tracy Gahan brings her versatile style of play for teams to mull over. A more pressing need than most is waiting in Portland. Playing with all-universe scorer Jackie Stiles, Gahan can continue to play her style of ball. My verdict, she goes out west with the 37th overall selection.

The pigskin is next, with four Cyclone seniors testing their skills against hundreds of other collegiate football stars.

Many think that the first Iowa Stater to go this year will be Ennis Haywood. Though this probably will happen, teams seem to be looking more for players in the trenches.

Saying that, Mr. Marcel Howard will be the number one Iowa State pick (106th overall), helping rebuild an Indianapolis line meant to protect Peyton Manning and Edgerrin James. Haywood’s moment will come seven selections later when he’s chosen by the struggling Arizona Cardinals.

Dallas and Detroit need help in many areas, one of them being tight end. Both teams should get a “line receiver” early, leaving room to obtain Mike Banks later as a backup. Detroit should snag him early in the sixth round.

With so many good defensive ends up for grabs, Kevin DeRonde might sweat a little. By this time of the picking, there aren’t too many “needs” to be instantaneously filled.

However, good teaching opportunities exist at many fields, including the new one in Seattle. The Seahawks use their seventh-rounder on DeRonde, completing a satisfying Veishea weekend for ISU athletic fans everywhere.

Jonathan Lowe is a senior in meteorology from Kansas City, Mo.