I came to college with a V-shaped body: broad of shoulder, small of waist.

I should have too.

I ate right, lifted a lot, ran some.

But after nearly three years of college, my “V” has turned into an “I,” with half a mind to move toward “O.”

There’s good reasoning for this.

Mom’s cooking is gone, classes and writing occupy my time and there’s no coach yelling “If you don’t move it now Kix, see how much you move it in the game.”

I do lift weights. Not a lot but I try to shove some around three times a week at the Rec.

Lifting does nothing for my developing “O” though.

It keeps it from turning into full-blown “O” (a nasty development), but at the end of the day, when I’m honest with myself, I’m still more portly than perfect.

I know I should run but facing the track or the open road reacquaints me with my childhood.

I’m a slow runner. Doesn’t matter the distance. I’ll run it slowly.

In fifth grade, my teacher beat me in a 50-yard dash. Seriously.

I know full well my metabolism is tiring of the pizzas and bacon cheeseburgers I stuff my face with.

Hey, I’ll eat something else when something else tastes good.

Still, I have searched for something to move me enough to move around.

And this week, I found it.

Anna Kournikova’s “Basic Elements: My Complete Fitness Guide.”

This is something to, ahem, inspire me, I thought.

And just in time for spring … hell, spring break is here.

But before I popped it in, I thought of you.

What if I wrote about this, recommended it, and you, who happens to have a similarly developing “O,” bought the tape based on my seldom stringent aerobic standards?

What if you found the tape to serve none of your aerobic needs? Especially the needs served before spring break?

Well then, I’d be as big a fool as Richard Simmons on Letterman.

So Kristin Gyaki of the ISU tennis team agreed to do the exercises Anna does.

And it is her expert opinion you should value.

Gyaki and I were to jump rope with Anna but we didn’t have jump ropes, so we had to skip the warm-up.

Gyaki does recommend hoping on one foot though, like Anna did.

“It feels like your calves are bulging when you’re done,” she said.

We wanted to do bench press, but we didn’t have a stability ball – those bloated kick balls you see at the physical therapist or hospital, twice the size of a basketball.

Anna laid her back across this ball, and with dumbbells that were light enough to twirl through her fingers – “No wonder she’s a stick,” Gyaki said — Anna pumped out a good set of, well, I’m not sure how many she pumped out.

The cameras were forever zooming in and zooming out on Anna, with the closer shot from the chest-up getting the longer play.

Until the end, when Anna lifted in slow motion. Hair dangling behind her, smile on her face, arms going up, arms going down.

Tough to keep a rep count through that.

Bicep curls, shoulder press and tricep extension followed.

Because we didn’t have free weights, though Gyaki did recommend we use cans of soup, we watched while Anna worked out.

We watched a lot that night.

Her video is less an exercise tape than an exercise manual.

Anna shows you how to “work the glutes” (I tried to look like I didn’t care) but she doesn’t do them with you.

In fact, bench press, at one minute five seconds, was one of the longest stretches of time Anna dedicated to any exercise.

And that’s including the required five seconds of Slo-Mo Anna.

Not that we could spend a minute working out with Anna anyway.

After buying jump ropes, a stability ball and dumbbells, we would have had to buy a medicine ball, orange cones, a concrete block (to step on), chalk (to do plyometrics on), shackles connected by a bungee cord (for lateral movement) and a 16 x 16 exercise room to work out the way Anna does.

Gyaki and I spent the work out with our backs on the floor; necks propped on the coach.

We sweated about as much as Anna did.

“I could make you a better workout,” Gyaki said.

She better. The “O” develops unabated.

Paul Kix is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Hubbard. He is sports senior reporter for the Daily.