Come on down! It’s time for thirty years of what is now the only daytime network game show, “The Price Is Right.” A special 30th anniversary episode shot in Las Vegas airs tonight.

Yes, despite all the crud passing itself off as entertainment (see “The Chamber”), Bob Barker is still master of the pricing games, and can still shoot a hole in one – or two.

Who has not, at some point, wanted to buy a car with seven dollars, drop a Plinko chip or bid on the showcase with the motor home and the trip to London?

Adam Sandler notwithstanding, “Price” has been attracting college students for a long time. Barker, in an article in the Knoxville News-Sentinel, said, “We have become a camp thing for college kids. It’s a good thing for me and `The Price Is Right.'” Camp? Nah.

It has more to do with growing up and watching the show while sick or at a relative’s house. Thirty years leads to a generation that doesn’t know how not to bid nearest the actual retail price without going over.

It doesn’t take long to learn the rules to any of the games, and the only prerequisite is that you need to know the prices of everyday grocery/retail store items.

No, wait. Actually, the prerequisite is that you watch the show to the point where you are yelling at Contestants’ Row, “651!” or the ubiquitous “One dollar!” You know, like they pay more attention to you than the audience behind them, which is saying the exact same thing. Audience participation is a must in this show.

Often, given CBS’ target demographic at 10 a.m., you’re going to have to know prices of stuff you’re not going to buy for another 50 years. But the Little Debbies are always $1.29, and there’s no way the shampoo is going to cost as much as the detergent.

The contestant, if he or she has grown up right, will know exactly when it’s the big prize. Especially if it’s the last of the three games in either half-hour and it’s not been given out yet. Bob will draw out the introduction, and then Rod Roddy will say that you can win “A NEW CAR!”

The car games are some of the easiest to win, actually. Just follow the numbers. If your choices are $16,795 and $17,423, and you pick the latter, you haven’t been watching long enough. Of course, you could just be sure to roll all sixes or all ones in the Dice Game, and it’ll work out easier. But don’t just pick Any Number – finish the price with a five, nine, zero or six, or go home with a sofa. Or worse, $8.41 from the piggy bank.

That, of course, is the whole point: Know your numbers. Is the first digit three or the last digit six? Which is the bigger bargain? If the pancake syrup costs $1.70, is that Now or Then?

Or know your strategy. You DO know how to play the Clock Game, right? Which numbers do you pick so your poker hand beats the house?

When all else fails, go random. Where do you punch the holes for the most cash? Where might the letters be in the honeycomb that spell C-A-R? Which one is the Master Key?

Finally, the Showcase Showdown, where one space in the wheel can put you 20 cents ahead of your competitor or over with $1.05. Spin a dollar in one spin or a combination of two spins, and win $1000 and a bonus spin.

In the Showcase, be careful what you pass on. You could pass on the motorcycles and the hot tub only to bid on a new bedroom and a fireplace.

And remember, help control the pet population – have your pets spayed or neutered.

Jeff Morrison is a sophomore in journalism and political science from Traer. He is a copy editor for the Daily.