I think it’s safe to say we’re pretty near the end of the recent teenage entertainment boom. I’m talking about the numerous nubile blonde bimbettes whose main talent lies in the swell of their chests and the curve of their hips. Not to mention a ridiculous number of groups made up of four or five dancing pretty boys. And, of course the movies – slasher flicks and your basic golden-boy-turns-nerdgirl-into-prom-queen story (and various convolutions thereof).

Through the teen boom of the late ’90s, there was one particular term I heard tossed around an awful lot. Even though I was often surprised at the reckless abandon with which it is used, mostly I just dismissed it as another catch phrase, which it was for the most part. But then I heard the same term again while watching a VH1 special on the “100 Greatest Rock Acts” or something of that nature. You are all familiar with this term – yes, say it with me folks – teen “angst.”

At this juncture, I think we ought to pause for word identification here:

Angst: n. A feeling of anxiety or apprehension often accompanied by depression.

Now, I’m sure that my expressed exasperation at how often this term has been bandied about might seem a little misguided. I mean, of course those kids from “Dawson’s Creek” have a lot of angst. And you’d have to be nuts to deny the true angst of Kurt Cobain, or even Klebold and Harris, the murderers from Columbine High. Well, let’s just slow this ride down a little, cause we’re way out of control here.

As far as your basic teeny-bopper movie/TV show goes, teen angst is just an easy phrase for reviewers to toss around. The problem with that practice is that it becomes a little too easy for kids to see the stuff, compare it to their lives and decide that they have a little “angst” of their own. Let’s face it; most of these productions are about “pretty white kids with problems,” as the great thinkers on “Mad TV” aptly satirized the phenomenon. I mean, seriously, when your parents live in a suburb of Boston, and your home is overlooking a creek, you simply do not have any angst.

In the case of Klebold and Harris, as well as the numerous other school shooters, there is no angst there, either. In my opinion, all we have is serious case of parental irresponsibility – criminal irresponsibility, no doubt, but that’s it.

The only reason these delinquents came to believe their lives were so terrible is because society says that if the other kids laugh at you and call you a geek, then clearly there has to be a major psychological wound inflicted. My assessment of that view is unprintable – suffice it to say it shares qualities with the metabolic waste of certain ruminants. When you live in a glitzy neighborhood and you parents’ income is in the six-figure range, I seriously doubt that you have any real angst.

Finally, I can’t forget the story of Kurt Cobain, musical genius and angst-master extroardinaire. I can’t say I’ve sampled much of his work, but most of what I’ve heard leads me to believe that it’s all quite good. But I still think the whole idea of his tortured existence being due to all his “angst” is still bogus. Sure, his parents broke up while he was young, but I still do not think that he is entitled to all the “angst” he is credited with.

Like a lot of notable great minds in history, he was a self-destructive genius, a drug addict whose addiction led to a tragic end. But to say that his terrible childhood was the cause is completely unreasonable – I really think angst is an entirely different affair.

So I submit to you that your average angst-ridden American teenager is nothing more than a fabrication, a child naive enough to believe that his or her life is really terrible because they get teased at school, or they have parents that work long hours, or because they are not smart/popular/good-looking. I’m not saying these things are good, just that it is a result of an existence that is not tortured, but a little too sheltered.

Personally, I grew up in a part of the world where the average person has no electricity, no running water and barely enough food to live on. You want some angst? Carry a 30-liter jug on your head for 3 or 4 miles, do a little homework by candlelight, or go to bed without supper simply because there is none, not because you’re anorexic.

Or how about a bout of malaria (or ten). I lived through all those and more, and my family is part of the “privileged” class there, so you can imagine just how bad it gets for those not. And obviously, you don’t need to travel across the world to pick up a little perspective – there are many needy people in our society.

I do not dispute the fact that there are teenagers in American society who may be materially comfortable, but yet have serious emotional and/or psychological problems. But my theory is that the great majority of these maladies are all a fabrication of a pampered existence.

As I see it, the proper expression for this “angst” is “self-pity” in its silliest form. They, or actually, we, as a society, could really use several lessons in appreciating our good fortune. I don’t think I’ll ever be comfortable with this concept of “teen angst.” Every time I hear that expression, I’ll always think (a la John McEnroe), “You can not be serious .”

Emeka Anyanwu is a senior in electrical engineering from Ames.