I like being a guy. There are so many fringe benefits to being the dominant gender on the planet. We’re supposed to be macho, crude and even nasty at times. That tender, get-in-touch-with-your-feelings crap is for sissies who can’t lift 50 pounds. Showing off your manly physique has been the “in” thing forever, since the loin cloths of the caveman. It’s just great to walk outside in the morning, puff out my chest and say… ooh, a purple flower.

Frolicking Through a Field of Sports Teams

Another week, another chance to see who’s bashing a professional women’s athletic organization.

From time to time grunting men come out of their caves to say something about what is wrong with those “cute” attempts at real sports leagues and competition, which they claim don’t belong in the higher threshold of sport.

One phrase I use to describe these guys is “Title IX Bashers.”

This week, I’d like to present a new spokesman, Chilean tennis punk Marcelo Rios.

I know what you’re thinking “Lowdown’s just mad because he beat his pick to win the Aussie Open this weekend.”

Well, that doesn’t hurt his chances, but that’s not the gist of what I’m getting at.

During a post-match news conference Saturday, the former world No. 1 opened his mouth a little too wide, saying the professional women’s tour “is like a joke.”

Oh boy, backlash is a-comin’.

All right, maybe I can back off of him a little. He seemed to want to state that the men’s side has more depth in talent than the women.

But a joke? Come on.

That sounds to me like the buffoons who say the WNBA shouldn’t exist because the thought of women’s basketball doesn’t excite them or they just don’t get it.

Well, I just don’t buy it.

If you bashers want to complain, go ahead. I’ll just be sitting on the sidelines laughing the day you meet one of these women off the field of battle and they run circles around you and your kinfolk.

Now, there is no ulterior motive to my ranting.

I’m not trying to score points with the ladies (Lord knows I couldn’t if I tried). I haven’t found my “sensitive” side (the two go together like chocolate and onions).

There is truth that the flow of men’s sports is more fluid than women’s.

However, giving these leagues to the dogs is not the answer. Showing patience and acceptance is.

Absurd Predictions

I’ve looked far and wide to try and predict something for this next week and there is, for lack of better wording, absolutely nothing.

So, I will go along with the garden-variety types and focus on this Sunday’s NFL Conference Championships.

In the AFC, Tom Brady’s amazing ride continues.

It seems that the luck of the Bears has shifted east to New England (yes, that was a fumble).

However, this weekend, the Patriot Express rolls into Steeltown to try and upend a Steelers team that put a whuppin’ on the defending champion Baltimore Ravens.

The big problem for the visitors this week is, well. everything.

Pittsburgh has proven that they don’t need Jerome Bettis to dominate. Unless the boys from Boston can stop the whole convoy, a long day will persist for the AFC East champs.

Pittsburgh 24, New England 14.

The NFC championship game should be entertaining at the very least.

The Rams defense shouldn’t look for a six interception performance from Donovan McNabb, cause it won’t happen.

There’s a major difference between the Eagles game plan last weekend against the Bears and this Sunday.

Donovan McNabb just needed to play his game against a team that is based on Raven/Buc-ball tactic (high-octane defense, shadow of an offense).

Against the Rams, McNabb can do all he wants, but as long as Kurt Warner is in the game, the Rams win.

They can replace Marshall Faulk. They can replace any of 20 wideouts. They can’t replace Warner.

So if you’re Philly, give him a cheesesteak sandwich and hope the peppers take their toll.

St. Louis 37, Philadelphia 28.

Jonathan Lowe is senior in meteorology from Kansas City, Mo.