Two items of business are bothering me more than a trip to the dentist without Novocain. I must use this outlet to vent my frustrations and disbelief in dealing with two current sports pieces.

First things first. Bulls coach Tim Floyd is now to be referred to as George Costanza. Allow me to explain.

The Bulls are terrible, as everybody knows. Recently Coach Floyd told his team he didn’t want to coach it anymore. Who can blame him? He will officially go down as the worst coach in Bulls history, as well as being a candidate for worst coach ever in the NBA.

Granted, Floyd was an excellent college coach, but whatever magic he possessed on the NCAA hardcourts was apparently left behind in Hilton Coliseum as his U-Haul departed for the Windy City.

Currently, Coach Floyd wants to quit, the city wants him to quit and his players want him to quit. But he won’t. Pink Floyd is going to make the Chicago Bulls fire him.

The reason is simple; poor Tim is sitting on a winning lottery ticket, and he is not going to toss it in the trash by uttering the words “I quit.” Doing so would let the Bulls off the hook for the remainder of his contract, a contract that will pay the coach somewhere in the ballpark of $2 million dollars for the next three years.

In other words, Pink is willing to take upon himself his own personal purgatory, because doing so entitles him to mucho dinero.

Receiving a pink slip would be the best Christmas present ever. He could fish, golf, vacation and do the fox-trot all the way to the bank on the Bulls’ dime. Hum, getting paid for doing nothing – this reeks of George Costanza.

Turning to football, the BCS is whack.

Nebraska has officially accomplished the unbelievable by stealing a spot in the championship game against Miami. After getting thoroughly trounced, demolished and destroyed by Colorado, the fellas at the BCS still found the Huskers deserving.

Why? I can’t possibly imagine that when the BCS was formed, the founders thought it would be okay if title game contestants earned spots after not winning their conference, and only beating one opponent who ended the season ranked.

Someone explain this to me. Nebraska loses its half of the Big 12 Conference, doesn’t even represent the Big 12 in its title game and gets mutilated in its final game of the season, and it still has a chance to win a national title.

The BCS Rankings have become the BS rankings, because there is no way that Nebraska deserves a shot at the title.

So who does?

Colorado is the team of the moment. I already mentioned the pasting of Nebraska, in which Colorado scored the most points ever against a Nebraska football team.

With some folks thinking Colorado played the game of its life against Nebraska, it silenced critics by putting up equally impressive offensive numbers in route to winning the Big 12 title game against Texas. Add to that the fact that Colorado beat five ranked teams this season, joining Florida as the only teams in the country to do so. It is deserving, but unfortunately it ran out of season, and chances to move up in the BS rankings.

Oregon … nope! The Ducks did have a good season, but when they had their chance to impress the BS suits, they meekly beat their instate rival, the Oregon State Beavers. Good team, but not enough to earn a shot.

Florida and Tennessee should have come to some sort of agreement. Florida looked like it was in, and Tennessee kicked the Gators out of the Swamp. When Tennessee had a title shot in hand, it promptly lost to a good, but not great, LSU team. The SEC screwed itself out of some big money.

Something needs to be fixed. Nebraska is the luckiest team in America, while the SEC couldn’t win in Vegas counting cards.

The BCS has got to go. And when it leaves, it should take Floyd with it.

Marcus Charter is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Ames.