Eat-N-Write is the Daily’s bimonthly food review column, written by two college students, Zach Calef and Tim Paluch, on the lookout for affordable meals less than $10. Despite what they may write, they are not actual food critics and their culinary expertise is little to none. All restaurants reviewed are local, non-chain establishments.

It was Cyclone-Hawkeye sports weekend at Iowa State, and we were both reminiscing about the glory days – Zach’s three-year run as an All-State gymnast in high school, and Tim’s legendary 150-pound offensive lineman career as Illinois high school football player of the year two years running. So what better place for two sports icons to talk about kicking home runs and throwing field goals than Wallaby’s Bar and Grille, 3720 Lincoln Way, a sports mecca where the motto is “Life’s Short, Play Hard.” Fifteen televisions, a menu you’ll call mom about later and 65 items of 100 percent handmade food.

Restaurant Atmosphere

Tim: We knew this was a sports bar, but we had no idea the booths were made for basketball stars. The backs of the seats were about two feet higher than our heads. When we were seated in a booth near the back of the restaurant, we found out, A, Zach and I were freakishly short; or B, booths that make average-sized customers insecure about their height are a restaurant fad.

Zach: Insecure I most certainly am not. This place is a sports fan’s dream. There is professional and collegiate memorabilia everywhere. On the back wall there is what Tim called a “special” jersey. See, he’s from Chicago, so he doesn’t have anything against stealing. The jersey on the wall was an old, white Bulls jersey, with Michael Jordan’s autograph on the stomach. When he tried to jump up and steal it, I was forced to throw a fierce overhand right, and he knew to leave it alone.

Tim: Lucky for Zach, there wasn’t a Bill Wennington jersey in sight. He would have snagged that in a heartbeat. Wallaby’s is the perfect place to sit down, watch a game and throw back a few beers, not necessarily in that order.

The bar is in the middle of the room, with big screen televisions donning the walls above it. And despite my distaste for it, the ’70s music was a good touch.

Zach: I must admit I was a little nervous when I sat down and looked over to see an Indy car sign. I forgot some people consider driving around a sport. I call it getting where I need to go; some like to watch, I guess. But as I looked around I was very impressed with the collection of uniforms. There was, of course, M.J.’s, but that wasn’t all. Even Larry Bird managed to get his name on the wall.

Tim: Sports, beer, music. If those are your idea of a good restaurant atmosphere, Wallaby’s won’t disappoint in that category. As for me, add a hammock and I’d pay rent to stay there. Thumbs up.

Zach: I agree. The only problem with the atmosphere is the lighting. It was a little on the dark side (you’ll understand why that was disappointing soon). Other than that, this place is perfect for girls looking to take their guys out for a treat. They’ll love you for it. Thumbs up.

Service

Tim: Once we were seated, it didn’t take long for our waitress to come. And we were the ones keeping her waiting, not vice versa, as we couldn’t decide on what to order from the extensive menu. Our drinks were consistently filled throughout the meal, and the food didn’t take long to arrive. Top-notch service.

Zach: Top-notch is right. She was beautiful. I have to admit I was in love. Plus she was a great waitress. She was not hesitant when we asked questions about the menu and she was always on top of things. I wish she worked at every restaurant in Ames.

Tim: Notice Zach’s “plus she was a great waitress.” Looks are always more important with him. There are absolutely no complaints on service from me. I got what I ordered in a short amount of time, had drinks when I wanted them and got to listen to Zach profess his love all in one setting. Can it get any better than that? Don’t answer. Thumbs up for me.

Zach: Tim, of course looks are important. They may not be everything, but they are very important. One must be attracted to his or her mate. Aside from her looks, she was a fantastic waitress who never left us waiting. The only thing she could have done differently was sit down and eat with us. Big thumbs up for me on this one.

Food Quality

Tim: The menu here at Wallaby’s is superb. Like I said earlier, it was a struggle deciding what to order. It was a toss-up between the Chicken Cordon Bleu sandwich and the Wally Dip, a roast beef sandwich with swiss cheese and a cup of au jus dip – basically a french dip. I decided on the Wally Dip, $7.75 with fries.

Zach: We both decided to order an appetizer so our bill would be more and she could get a better tip. We went with the Mozarella Cheese Wedges, a sports bar delicacy. And they were out of this world. Fried to a golden crisp, cheese melted to perfection and marinara that could satisfy mobster Sammy the Bull, all for $5.95. For a meal I got the DeBurgo Burger, a half-pound hamburger basted in butter for $6.25.

Tim: The Wally Dip was bigger than what I expected. The swiss cheese was melted over the hearty portions of tender roast beef slices. The sandwich itself was a bit dry, but the au jus sauce that came with it took care of that problem. The crinkle cut fries that come with the sandwiches were heavily seasoned and were a great compliment to the filling sandwich. It was a good meal at an inexpensive price.

Zach: The DeBurgo was one of the best hamburgers I have ever put in my mouth. This thing was huge and literally dripping with rich butter. For a second I actually thought I was having a heart attack, but I toughed it out and kept on eating. And as Tim said, the fries were excellent. But the burger, the burger I’d kill for.

Tim: Wallaby’s really was a treat. The food was excellent, chosen from a diverse menu. The sports-bar atmosphere is inviting for those looking for a place to watch a game at night or on the weekends, and the unique memorabilia only adds to the pleasureful experience you’ll have. It’s hard being a “critic” at places like this – near perfection is usually frowned upon in that line of work. But Wallaby’s gets the trifecta – thumbs up for me.

Zach: All he does is complain. I have never met someone who sounded so upset when he found great food for a good price, especially with a waitress like the one we had. Man, I was in full-blown heaven. Wallaby’s uses a formula that could satisfy any guy in this world – sports memorabilia plus a pretty waitress plus good food equals three thumbs up.