Iowa State and Nebraska meet for the second straight season with undefeated records. Sometimes it’s just too hard to wait, so Paul Kix and I took it to today’s Roman Coliseum, the living room and Playstation 2, to decide who would win this weekend’s game with a game of our own – EA Sports’ NCAA 2002.

I’VE NEVER PLAYED PLAYSTATION 2, THE RESULT OF A DEPRIVED CHILDHOOD. BUT I AGREE WITH JEREMY THAT VIDEO GAMES BLUR REALITY.

WHETHER THEY BLUR REALITY ENOUGH TO SEE YOU FINISH THIS, WELL, THAT IS THE ONLY QUESTION LEFT.

With that, we were on to the game. I thought that letting Kix coach the Huskers on this night perhaps would even up his obvious lack of video-game talent. Surely the mighty Huskers could help him to a win over Iowa State. Regardless of the outcome, we knew it would be a realistic ending.

YOU SPEAK OF A LACK OF JOYSTICK TALENT. WOW, DO I AGREE.

AFTER THE SCORE WAS QUICKLY 7-0 IOWA STATE, I TOOK THE KICKOFF AND RAN INTO MY OWN END ZONE, MUCH AS JEREMY DID PLAYING FOR OGDEN HIGH.

Ha, always cracking jokes, but much like Frank Solich against Texas, Kix, you were outcoached from the start, and you couldn’t rely on all of the Husker talent to save you today.

At 9-0 after the first quarter, Iowa State knew that things were set for an upset. After a Cyclone turnover was voided because Kix was offsides – again – Ogden High’s Mike Banks provided Iowa State with what would be a recurring theme . a touchdown. Me 16, Kix 0.

ONLY IN THE SECOND QUARTER DID I DISCOVER THE GUY WITH THE GREEN CIRCLE AT HIS FEET WAS THE MAN I CONTROLLED.

HAD I KNOWN THAT BEFORE YOU FUMBLED, THE GAME WOULD HAVE TURNED QUICKER THAN A RANDY JOHNSON CURVEBALL.

KEEP SPOUTING, EGO. REMEMBER, HOWEVER, THAT I AM THE KING OF CHAIR BASKETBALL.

Anyway, when Seneca Wallace went down with a bruised sternum in the second quarter, I thought I was in trouble.

Never fear, Cris Love is here.

So that Kix can’t gloat, I’ll say that he had a 79-yard touchdown run by Eric Crouch. Pure luck, I think the phone rang or something. Leading 16-6, Love put an exclamation mark on an exciting first half by hooking up with Jack Whitver for an 89-yard bomb to end the half.

Me 23, Kix 6 . oh yeah, he missed the extra point. You have to push the buttons, Paul.

I DID ONCE. YOU STAMPED ALL OVER MY MOMENT. LEMME DO IT JUSTICE.

I CALLED OPTION RIGHT. AT THE TIME, IT WAS ONE OF THREE PLAYS I KNEW.

ERIC CROUCH HAD RUN INTO KEVIN DERONDE THE THREE PREVIOUS TIMES.

STILL, I WAS UNDETERRED.

SO WHEN DERONDE APPEARS IN THE BACKFIELD THIS TIME, I CUT UPFIELD INSTEAD OF RUNNING INTO HIM.

WHAT A LANE APPEARING BEFORE ME. JEREMY AND HIS HEAD COULD HAVE FIT THROUGH.

CROUCH IN THE OPEN FIELD EATS UP TURF QUICKER THAN JOHNNY DEPP DOES BAD PLOTS. UNTOUCHED INTO THE END ZONE.

THANK YOU.

Kix, you’re all talk. Iowa State, much like they will Saturday, came out to play in Lincoln. The Cyclones exposed Nebraska’s safety blitz, on every play, and tight end Mike Banks continued his big day in the third quarter.

“It’s fun to blitz,” Kix says.

I say it’s fun to win. By third quarter’s end I was well on my way. Me 37, Kix 6.

I’M NOT GOING TO LIE. IN THE SECOND HALF, I WAS OUT TO INJURE.

BUT, ONCE AGAIN, YOUR REPORTING IS INACCURATE. I BLITZED EVERYONE. ALL THE TIME.

OH SURE, IT’S FUN TO WIN. BUT WHEN YOU KNOW YOU WON’T, IT’S MORE FUN TO MAIM.

And, much like the rest of your game plan, it failed. The Cyclones put another 14 points on the board. Simply unstoppable was Ennis Haywood and the rest of the Cyclone offense.

The Husker blitz was about as successful as a Freddie Prinze Jr. movie, and the Cyclones went on to a huge upset over the heavily favored Huskers.

I don’t know, EA Sports says “If it’s in the game, it’s in the game.” What do you think, is a 51-6 Cyclone victory possible?

NOT IF NEBRASKA FIGURES OUT THE INTRICACIES OF THE CIRCLE AND SQUARE BUTTONS.

Jeremy Gustafson is a senior in journalism mass communication from Ogden. He is sports editor of the Daily and never, repeat never, was safetied in high school.

Paul Kix is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Hubbard. He likes the option, but had no option but to lose.