Spending this summer away from home gave me a chance to get to know Ames a little better, but it also made me realize how I’ve lost contact with a number of close friends from high school.

There is one friend I miss dearly, and whom I regret not spending more time with these last two years: TV.

TV was my friend all those weekend nights before I got my driver’s license. (And then, when I did have my license, I would drive to a friend’s house to share the glow of another’s TV.)

TV, I miss you, and wish my college schedule allowed more time for us to sit together, staring blankly at one another, me wondering how it is your glow has come to be so beautiful, and you wondering why it took so long for my acne to clear up.

Were it not for TV, I would not be who I am today. Hours of witty sitcoms have given me the ability to be the sarcastic, uncaring asshole I can sometimes be. And were it not for reruns of “Sisters,” I never would have developed my sensitive side, for the days when I allow myself to guest star in the drama which is my life as a kind, caring young lad named Cav.

Anyone can see how countless episodes of “Friends” have rounded out my personality: I’m a smartass like Chandler, an obsessive-compulsive neat-freak like Monica, a geek like Ross, a bit kooky like Phoebe and I’m often seen with the same blank stare as Joey.

And of course my hip Jennifer Aniston `do is plain as day.

Even before “Friends,” the Cavan you see today (I’m the one in that little box up in the corner) was molded by other television-based influences. I, too, was confused about the wonders of my own body until little DJ of “Roseanne” fame finally brought the perplexing issue of masturbation to the public’s attention.

And thank God for fatherly Dan, whose words still stick with me today: “Everybody does it. But nobody ever talks about it.” Well, I suppose I’ve just amended that last bit of Dan’s advice, but you see where I’m going.

With my current slew of work and activities, I don’t get to spend time any quality time with ol’ TV.

Through the whore that is my computer, I am still able to catch episodes of the necessities, such as “Family Guy” and “The Simpsons,” but rarely can I sit down and catch the wonderful life lessons these programs offer as they are unveiled to the rest of the nation.

There are those who claim television may rot our minds, as if TV were some sort of acid-laced candy product and our minds were the still-developing teeth of infants, but to “those” people, I say this: Were it not for The Daily Show, millions of people still would not have realized that Bush is indeed our president, that gas prices have gone up and that all sorts of nasty things are happening all over the globe. Is that the kind of world you want to live in?

Well, I thought not. So you give TV its due respect and stop with your nonsensical talk of its evils!

TV was a second Daddy to me. And after the advent of Lifetime, TV also became my second Mommy (television made for women, but strong enough for Cavan, I say). Try as they might, my actual parents could not compare to the hundreds of life secrets that TV exposed me to.

In the glow of my friend TV I learned many things. Yes, others have touched themselves down there. (And, Cinemax whispered, if you play your cards right, some day others will touch you down there as well.)

Yes, it is okay to be a smartass in nearly every daily interaction with others, even if your life doesn’t come with its own laugh track, just as long as you balance it with several emotional turning points during which sappy, melodramatic music would be appropriate.

I apologize, TV. You have raised me well and yet I let you sit there for days without activity. You ask for nothing from me, save an occasional hug or dusting, and yet I have neglected you. My only happiness is knowing that you are dispensing small globules of knowledge to other confused children throughout the world.

Tell them, TV, of the wonderful things you once told me of. You be there for them as you were once there for me.

Thank you, old friend. Thank you, TV.

Cavan Reagan is a junior in journalism and mass communication and English from Bellevue, Nebraska. He is the research assistant for the Daily.