Bucking the current trends in parenting and avoiding “one-size-fits-all parenting” were the main messages of David Elkind, professor of child study at Tufts University.

Elkind, who has appeared on Oprah, the Today Show and 20/20, spoke about child psychology and parenting Monday to more than 200 people in the Sun Room of the Memorial Union.

He said young children are often pushed too hard, too early in education.

“To assume that everyone is at the same place at the same age is nonsense,” Elkind said.

Too often, parents and teachers push children to learn at an earlier and earlier age, and when they don’t grasp a subject right away, they end up feeling dumb, he said.

“It’s criminal,” Elkind said. “We turn them off to learning. We turn them off to reading.”

Examples such as parenting magazines, how-to books and computer programs for children as young as one year old overwhelm today’s youngsters, he said.

“Parents buy them computers under the assumption that young kids need them to do well,” Elkind said.

He also said books and magazines make parents feel as if they will create a monsters if they don’t follow the newest parenting techniques. Elkind described it as “one-size-fits-all parenting.”

In the mid-20th century, ordinary people were considered qualified and ready to be good parents, he said. Now people think they must read books and magazines to be good parents.

“We don’t honor the role parents play anymore,” Elkind said. “For the first time, parents are not seen as intuitively knowledgeable.”

Also, just because a child gives up on piano lessons doesn’t mean they will never succeed in life, he said. Elkind encouraged parents to let their children try a variety of activities in childhood, and not to be too upset when their child wants to quit something.

“Kids are different,” he said. “We have to leave doors open and let them find their own way.”

Elkind said more sharing and less quizzing is also a good way to get your reluctant-to-speak adolescent to open up.

“Being interrogated turns kids off,” he said.

Instead of parents grilling their child about what they did last night, adults should talk about how their own night went, Elkind. He said then it’s much more like likely the adolescent will share their own activities and thoughts.

Robin Verkade, senior in early childhood education, said she strongly agreed with Elkind’s parenting ideas, and already uses some of his methods with her two young children.

“He was a very good speaker,” she said. “I read `Miseducation’ and I felt that he has a positive, futuristic way to raising children educationally, socially and emotionally.”