Hello, everyone. Before I get started, I would like to remind people that this column, just like every one of my columns, is full of my own personal views that are mine and not necessarily those expressed by the Daily.

Having said that, let me say that in matters concerning the funding of Iowa State’s darling newspaper, Jeremy Peterson, Government of the Student Body business senator, the wiseass who motioned to send the Daily’ s budget to the finance committee with a recommendation to decrease funding, is a total dick.

This mock-issue is one of the most pathetic acts of grand-standing by someone in GSB to make his organization look active to cover up the fact that they quite regularly accomplish very little.

If anyone does not know all of the details surrounding this petty spat, the gist of it is that the Daily printed some posters declaring position openings early last year sans the magic words “funded by GSB.”

Since receiving a letter dated April 19 from GSB Finance Director Steve Medanic alerting her of the “funded by GSB” policy, editor in chief Carrie Tett has been totally compliant with the GSB’s policy.

Senator Peterson noted that Veishea was penalized and their budget was cut for not mentioning GSB funding on printed materials, and that the precedent established ought to be maintained concerning the Daily’ s infraction.

I would argue that the $89,000 the Daily receives is payment for student subscriptions and nothing more.

In other words, the Daily is not funded by the GSB.

What is funded by the GSB is the fact that you picked up this paper – the thing you’re holding in your hand right now or staring inconspicuously at the floor during lecture – free of charge.

I don’t think the GSB’s lame bylaws make the distinction, but Former GSB Finance Director Jeremy Williams seemed to understand.

And as a buddy of mine pointed out, “This is more analogous to GSB threatening to not order pizza from DaVinci’s because they don’t put `Funded by GSB’ on their menus.”

Make no mistake; your free subscription is funded by the GSB.

The Daily is funded by advertisements from yummy pizza joints like Dominos, Gumby’s, Home Team and, of course, DaVinci’s.

The focus shouldn’t be placed on the Daily.

If you fault the Daily for being ignorant of placing that stupid phrase on their job postings an instance or two last year, you’re the one with the problem.

I’m referring to the Government of the Student Body, that narcissistic boil on the bum of Iowa State.

GSB is a joke. As we’ve all seen, they have little ability to influence any of the administrative events on campus, or anything else for that matter.

The one and only thing they have the authority to do is dollop out $1.4 million in student fees to student organizations. And what do they do?

They write bylaws that investigate and cut the funding of said organizations.

They cut Veishea’ s funding.

They investigate the Daily.

And all this debate is over three measly words they require on printed materials to fill them with a false sense of self-worth.

They’re the antithesis of what they should be doing, and the words they require are not even true.

The phrase “Funded by GSB” is a lie.

If you read those words, you might assume that, as the phrase implies, funding to organizations is paid for by GSB itself. It isn’t.

It’s not as if the Government of the Student Body is selflessly holding countless fund-raisers and plasma drives to scrounge up money for student organizations, like the $33.91 they allotted Cuffs.

Is GSB even sure they remembered to print “funded by GSB” on all their materials?

I doubt they’re checking. They’re a full-blown bureaucracy that questions whether they should allot the full $89,000 to the Daily over measly job postings while they pat themselves on the back to the tune of an incredible $140,311.

This is not their own money they’re rolling in. It’s yours and mine; it comes directly from our pockets.

Every time you read the words “Funded by GSB” on table tents at dinner, what it should really read is, “Funded by you, through student fees.”

GSB doesn’t fund anything. They just play make believe, give themselves titles of senator and talk in Serious Tones about Important Matters.

They pretend they’re bettering ISU students when in reality all they do is allocate other students’ money, cut funding and talk about when it’s OK to wear hats.

They have all the bureaucracy of a government minus the occasional accomplishment that comes with it.

The stupidest part of this whole mess is that after all the talk by craftsmen like Peterson is that, big surprise – their “investigation” yielded nothing.

Even though the bylaw must have been written during one of the GSB’s exceptionally crazed, power-trip moments, the Daily rolled its eyes and played along like it was a real law passed by a real governmental body.

The “funded by GSB” bylaw itself is a misnomer that belittles the fees that students pay by giving undue credit to the GSB.

Even worse, the bylaw is used as a weapon to bully the student organizations they’re supposed to help.

Like virtually everything else the GSB does, the only accomplishment here was a regrettable waste of time. Put that on your resume, “Senator.”

Sam Wong is a sophomore in electrical engineering from Ames.