When Betty DeGeneres’ daughter, Ellen, told her 23 years ago that she was gay, she initially thought that it may have been a phase — something that would pass with time. She asked her daughter how long she had known and if she was sure.DeGeneres then came to the realization that her daughter’s engagement picture wouldn’t be in the paper.Now, however, DeGeneres is a model for other parents of gay children. Accepting her daughter publicly led the Human Rights Campaign to ask her to be their National Coming Out spokesperson and brought her to Iowa State Tuesday night to speak to an audience of nearly 300 about her experiences.As DeGeneres describes it, before Ellen came out publicly, she had a “nice life.” Then, four years ago, Ellen came out in a big way on her hit TV sitcom. The next thing DeGeneres knew, she was being interviewed by Diane Sawyer. After the interview, people started to stop her on the street to tell her their own stories about coming out. DeGeneres found herself in a spotlight for parents with gay children. As some parents have told her, it was easier for them to accept their own homosexual children after seeing DeGeneres do it in front of of a national audience.DeGeneres maintained an atmosphere of fun throughout her speech, although it had a very serious topic. “Three or four times now I’ve been asked if I was David Letterman’s mom,” DeGeneres said.She took a stand against discrimination and promoted acceptance and unconditional love for gay family members. “Imagine that you had to pretend to be someone you aren’t,” DeGeneres said. “Imagine what that would do to your self-esteem.” According to DeGeneres, living in conditions where you aren’t accepted is mentally unhealthy. She also said that 30 percent of all youth suicides are committed by gays or lesbians. She said she doesn’t understand why homosexuals are discriminated against when neither heterosexual nor homosexual people choose their sexuality. “In heterosexual relationships the the stress is on the ‘hetero,’ while in homosexual relationships the stress is on the ‘sexual,'” DeGeneres said.She finds much of society hypocritical about homosexuality issues and is looking forward to the day when labels are unnecessary.DeGeneres admits to taking advantage of her daughters’ stardom to speak out about gay and lesbian issues, but smiled as she said her daughter’s fame took care of the problem of wondering who to tell and who not to tell about Ellen’s sexuality.”She [Betty DeGeneres] is in a great position and is taking advantage of it when some people wouldn’t,” said Jeremy Hayes, former president of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Allies Alliance (LGBTAA). “Having the name recognition helps draw in an audience.”PFLAG, Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, members in the audience let others know they are there to help deal with these issues.At the end of the speech Carolyn Cutrona, president of the Ames PFLAG chapter and psychology instructor, stood up and welcomed the audience to get information about PFLAG.The mood in the room shifted as a man in the audience asked, “What about those gays that insist on marching down 5th Ave. throwing excrement at churches?”DeGeneres answered that she does not agree with that behavior and, “If they were my children, they certainly wouldn’t be doing that!”DeGeneres’ overall message of acceptance was not weakened by the laughter throughout the evening. “Love your children,” DeGeneres said. “It’s just that simple.”