Mediocrity must truly reign supreme in professional sports.How is it that a man who had a grand total of five tackles could be anointed as the Most Valuable Player of the Super Bowl?It makes no sense. “Yeah, but Ray Lewis also knocked down four crucial passes,” Lewis’ swooners say.Crucial? The only thing crucial about this 34-7 romp, in which Super Bowl records were set for most punts in a game (21) and most fair catches (4), was getting a tight camera shot of Britney Spears’ navel at halftime to keep Joe Shmuck’s attention from flipping to The Fishing Channel.What’s even worse, the third “knock down” hit Lewis square in the numbers, just above his cradled, waiting arms, before it slipped through and fell harmlessly to the turf.If I’m voting for the MVP, I give it to the Ravens’ defense. The Giants’ offense was as impotent as Bob Dole before the television advertisements, ending the game with 149 total yards.But if I’m voting and I have to give it to one and only one player… I hide the trophy. That’s right. I hide the evidence of any such award. I leave my ballot blank and I hide the evidence better than even Ray Lewis can hide evidence.And then I scoff at Ravens head coach Brian Billick.Billick came to Baltimore from Minnesota where he was hailed as an offensive guru.He isn’t anymore.During one five-game stretch this season, the Ravens’ offense failed to score a touchdown.Of course Billick’s saving grace is that he has the best defense since O.J. picked up Johnnie Cochran. But with Ravens defensive coordinator Marvin Lewis getting a hard stare from the Buffalo Bills, Billick may want to start thinking about an early retirement in Miami.And if he goes there, pray he does not get Heat season tickets. NBA fans are stupid.Miami Heat center Alonzo Mourning has sat out the entire season with a kidney ailment.Nevertheless, Mourning received 917,866 votes (according to ESPN.com) from fans to be an NBA All-star, good enough for him to be placed as a starter.And Orlando’s Grant Hill, who has played only four games this season due to a broken left ankle, was also selected by fans to start.So let me get this straight. You are a Heat fan or Magic fan. You paid $100 for your parquet seat, $100 more for your son’s, $5.50 for a beer and $6.75 for two hot dogs. And still the most exciting, most valuable player for your buck is the well-dressed tall man that sits at the end of the bench and claps occasionally?Dressed in Versace and wing tips, Mourning could still beat up on Theo Ratliff of Philadelphia.Ratliff scores 12.1 points per game on average. He grabs 8.1 rebounds. He will also most likely start for the East in place of Mourning. If Ratliff is an All-Star, the Backstreet Boys are the heir to the heavy metal throne.In his defense, Ratliff is leading the league in blocks, averaging 3.73 per game through Thursday.But see how much Kobe Bryant cares, who ranks first in the NBA in points (29.7 ppg), when he posterizes Ratliff. Repeatedly. And if Ratliff is inadequate, his replacement is Dikembe Mutombo of Atlanta. He grabs 14.2 rebounds per game, but he frequents the scoreboard about as much as the Cubs frequent the post-season, scoring 8.6 points per game.Just think of the possibilities if we as students were lauded for our mediocrity.After getting a “C” on a chemistry test, the professor congratulates you for the effort, deemed “the best in the class.” He then hands you the keys to a 2001 Ford Explorer which Lewis also received after the Super Bowl, according to ESPN.com.After sitting in your literature class and letting that one guy with the red sweater answer all the difficult questions, you receive perks from your adviser for your ineptitude, much the same as Billick will undoubtedly receive for his.And after draining 4-15 from the field in your intramural basketball game, you get a write-up in the Daily, applauding your efforts, much as Mutombo’s name gets circulated in the national papers for his. Paul Kix is a sophomore in journalism and mass communication from Hubbard.