Since this is a special edition of the Daily, I decided I would cap off this whirlwind of a semester with an exclusive interview of the man, the myth, the legend, Daily columnist Sam Wong.

A lot of people wanted me to ask you this-how do you come up with a fresh, original article every week on a relevant topic that concerns the entire campus?

Well, it’s certainly not easy and I couldn’t do it without the help of my supportive staff. All the ideas and jokes for my column are submitted by a team of writers.

I lovingly reject most of their ideas and pick only the wittiest stuff. This ensures that the people who read my columns only see the best material.

Once I’ve selected which jokes and topics to use, a ghost writer compiles the segments into the final column and submits it to me for approval.

If you have a team of writers and a ghost writer to write your columns for you, what part of your columns are you personally responsible for?

Well, I might have exaggerated a little. I have a board of writers, per se, but they’re actually a bunch of monkeys. With typewriters.

And sometimes my ghost writer takes unpaid leave to spook people. Right now my entire staff is on winter break, so this interview is 100 percent me.

Next question: what do you think of the band Creed?

Creed sucks. They’re hands down the worst band this year. At first I thought “My Own Prison” was just another harmless, mediocre, cookie-cutter album with a few decent tracks.

What about “Human Clay?” It sold seven million.

Don’t interrupt me, I was getting to that. With the release of “Human Clay,” Creed has proven to me that just because Scott Stapp could pass for Eddie Vedder’s anemic little brother, they’re capable of ripping off bands too, like Stone Temple Pilots.

Listen to “What If.” I suppose that’s their way of showing that they’re versatile.

Simmer down now.

To refer to Creed as a “they” is a misnomer. They should really be called the Scott Stapp band.

If you’re not sure which one of the guys is Stapp, he’s the one doing Jesus Christ poses in the music video for “Higher.” Of course, that idea isn’t original either. Soundgarden’s “Jesus Christ Pose,” anyone?

Nice rant. It’s funny because Creed fans won’t get a printed response in the Daily until 2001. Next question: How do you feel about the Cyclones going to their first bowl in 22 years, the Insight.com Bowl?

Insight.com? Aren’t they just another lame, overpriced, online computer store?

Not at all! Insight.com has great prices. Right now you could buy a 128 MB PC100 DIMM from them for $115.99.

That’s terrible. At OEMPCworld.com, you can get the same DIMM for $58.50. Insight.com is a ripoff.

Are you and award winning Daily Columnist Elton Wong related?

Yeah. Elton’s my older brother. He rules.

How can both of you be so incredibly sarcastic? What did your parents do to you?

They peeled our eyelids back and made us watch all the “Faces of Death” videos. What are you talking about? I’m not sarcastic.

Yes you are. Let me quote one of your previous columns. In your column, “Bush Sounds Good to an Elitist,” you wrote about future employment possibilities, “When I’m out job-hunting, the last thing I need is an equally qualified woman or minority vying for the same position.”

What, you don’t think I’m sexist and racist?

Sexist maybe, but not racist. What part of growing up made you two so cynical?

Our little sister. She changed my whole outlook on life. I used to believe it was beautiful.

Finally, what do you think about the recent string of court rulings in Florida? Will the recounts ever continue?

[Click]

Can Gore still win? Hello? Hello? [Long pause.] Jerk.