Despite repeated warnings from esteemed rapper Eminem, I have on occasion forgotten about Dre. We all have. Fortunately this has not caused any major problems in my day-to-day life.

In fact, forgetting things has become a staple of my existence. Whether it’s my house keys, a final exam or my twin sister’s birthday, I have forgotten it at one time or another.

But there’s one thing I’ll never forget: Thanksgiving. It’s a top-five holiday, no question. I’m shocked how often it is taken for granted.

I don’t even think the stores know Thanksgiving exists. They just skip right to Christmas and the season starts earlier every year. It may even be over already. I think I saw an ad for a back-to-school sale that starts this Saturday.

This is too bad because Thanksgiving is great. A quick look at how it began and it’s easy to see why it is worth celebrating today.

We all know that Thanksgiving was started by the Pilgrims who came to the New World in the Mayflower Transit moving van in 1620. But all was not a big party from the start.

The first year in America was tough for everybody. It was a mighty struggle for the Pilgrims because they lacked survival skills and every five minutes they had to stop whatever they were doing and pull their trousers up. Eventually they figured out that belt buckles were much more useful on their pants than they were on their hats, and this became less of a problem.

The year was tough on the friendly Indians, too, as they finished last in the division after losing several key players to free agency the previous winter.

The first harvest in America was disappointing for the Pilgrims, yielding only three green tomatoes and a squash that nobody would eat, because squash is disgusting.

Without enough food for the winter, Las Vegas odds-makers gave the Pilgrims less than 150 to 1 odds of survival.

But survive they did. And following the second year’s harvest there was plenty of food for everybody. Of course, 97% of the Pilgrims died over the previous winter so there were a LOT fewer mouths to feed, but the Puritans were never ones to turn down a chance to get funky.

In fact, so many Pilgrims had died that they actually had too much food, so they invited their Indian friends to come join their feast. The Indians, unaware that these same people would later kick them off their land and kill all of their buffalo, said the idea sounded splendid and offered to bring the yams.

A good time was had by all. Poppa Pilgrim couldn’t have been happier. The only thing he loved more than eating a lot was eating a lot while watching the Lions game on TV from his La-Z-Boy recliner. And that’s exactly what he did.

Momma Pilgrim was showered with compliments for her wonderful homemade pumpkin pie, even though she used a ready-made crust from Hy-Vee.

Even young Billy had a good time, although he was upset that he had to sit at the kids’ table with all of his younger cousins, even though he was 15 and just got his horse-and-buggy learner’s permit.

The highlight of this day was, of course, the grand feast. The food was fabulous and everyone felt grateful for the bounty with which they were blessed.

As Grandpa Pilgrim stood to carve the hog, which they had to eat because Poppa Pilgrim forgot to take the turkey out of the freezer the night before to thaw, he blessed the meal saying “Let us give thanks for this incredibly gay day.”

Despite this, none of the kids giggled, because Grandpa was wielding a very sharp electric carving knife. Also, the word “gay” actually meant “merry or joyous” in the early 17th Century.

After dinner, however, Grandpa said he was feeling “somewhat queer” and the kids couldn’t stop laughing for almost an hour.

So with Grandpa’s immortal toast, Gay Day was born. It was not until Macy’s bought the rights to the holiday that it was given its current title “Macy’s Thanksgiving Day and Parade, brought to you by Butterball.”

This is what makes Thanksgiving so great. It’s the only holiday we have that’s sole purpose is to celebrate the simple fact that life is good.

Because life is good, and I think we sometimes forget that. Besides, I can’t think of a better way to celebrate a holiday than by skipping class, eating sickening amounts of food, watching football, and hiding from your mom when she’s looking for help with the dishes.

So go and bloat yourself with turkey on Macy’s Thanksgiving Day and Parade, brought to you by Butterball, and celebrate how incredibly gay your life really is.