Growing up, we were always jealous of the popular kids. They seemed to have it all: beauty, charm, money. Then we got into the real world, and realized looks and charisma can’t get you much in life, unless you’re a model, an actor — or a presidential candidate.

First George W. Bush and Al Gore appeared on Leno and Letterman, then Oprah and “Live with Regis.” Now they’re going to be on “Saturday Night Live.” In “SNL’s” two-hour prime-time political special, “Presidential Bash 2000,” airing Nov. 5, Bush and Gore will be parodying themselves.

“When they asked me to help introduce tonight’s special, I felt, frankly, am-bilavent,” Bush says in the special, which was taped this week, according to the Associated Press. “Although I’m a big fan, I have seen some things on the show that were, in a word, offensible.”

Meanwhile, Gore is rolling his eyes and sighing melodramatically.

This is restoring “honor and dignity” to the presidency?

While during the debates and political rallies Bush and Gore will be happy to talk at length about how they’re concerned with the issues, their talk-show appearances tell a different story. Bush, on “The Late Show with David Letterman” Oct. 19, read a Top Ten List of things he’d do once he became president, including “Make sure the White House library has lots of books with big print and pictures” and “Give Oval Office one heck of a scrubbing.”

Gore, in a Sept. 14 “Rejected Gore/Lieberman Campaign Slogans” Top Ten List, said, “Remember, America: I gave you the Internet, and I can take it away. Think about it,” and “I’ll be twice as cool as that president guy on ‘The West Wing.'”

According to a Pew poll, nearly one-half of those under 30 get their election news from late-night talk shows, and 37 percent said they were influenced by comedy shows such as “SNL.”

Though “The Late Show” and “The Tonight Show” may key you in to Gore’s exaggerations and Bush’s calling a New York Times reporter an asshole, they surely won’t give you information on heath care, taxes, gun control, foreign policy, the environment and other issues of more significance to Americans. The most influential moments of the campaign so far are the ones that shouldn’t have had any impact. For example, Bush has taken a slight lead in the polls since his appearance on “Oprah,” eradicating Gore’s post-Democratic National Convention (read: Tipper-kissing) bounce.

Gore is faulted most for lacking charisma. Since when did charisma become an important requirement for the presidency? How about following through on promises, acting cool in a crisis, negotiating with foreign leaders? The president is not to be a beauty queen, whose only purpose is to wave from floats and cut the ribbons at new department stores. That’s England. America is supposed to have a real leader.

Americans seem to be looking for a funny president, a sort of National Comedian — a man who’s not afraid to parody himself. Someone who’s willing to assist the late-nights in making a mockery of this election.

Richard Nixon was the one who started the talk-show craze for presidential candidates, appearing on “Laugh-In” in 1968. It’s always nice to see candidates follow in Nixon’s path.

And why men who wish to become president would appear in something with such a derogatory name as “Presidential Bash” is beyond me. The presidency is serious stuff, and the candidates are doing themselves a disservice when they make it into a big joke.

But then there’s always Green Party candidate Ralph Nader, who truly believes in what he says, who won’t stand for this wishy-washy personality politics, who tells it like it is, no frills and no strings attached. Who, in a cameo on the “SNL” season premiere, said he couldn’t be easily bought like the other candidates.

“My price is much higher,” Nader said. “Why do you think they call it the Green Party?”