I can’t tell you how many times I have heard guys complain about how all girls at Iowa State are either huge snobs or they are all taken. Therefore, there are no datable women. Here is a question for all you guys out there to ponder: did you ever stop to think that maybe you are the problem?

Just for all you guys out there that are looking for a girl or have a girlfriend but need to brush up on your skills, I thought I would tell you how to impress a woman, or at least what impresses me. I think I am pretty similar to other women, so here you go. Some of you guys are completely clueless and need some serious help.

First of all, be yourself. There is nothing more annoying when guys try to come off as “Mr. Smooth” when you first meet a girl, and it is completely obvious that you are trying too hard. Girls want to get to know the real you, not that “playa” image a lot of guys like to convince themselves they are. The truth is going to come out at some time so it might as well be right away, and the truth is usually better. It can work both ways though.

I went on a date last year with a guy I met at a party who seemed nice. On our date, all he could talk about was how he and his friends used to have contests to see how many women they could sleep with. He claimed to be different now. Right.

What did he expect me to say, “Hey boy, want to add another to your list?” I think not.

Nice guys finish last is not always the rule of thumb when it comes to dating. There are lots of guys trying to be macho and it gets old fast. Romance isn’t only for wimps. Girls like to be spoiled. There is nothing better than getting flowers for no reason at all.

Compliments are good too. They are good confidence boosters for women, and they let us know you like what we are doing. A lot of times they are just trying to look good for you anyway, so it is nice to know that the effort is noticed.

Also, chivalry is not dead. Every once in a while it is nice to have a door opened or have a chair pulled out for you. Especially when you are on a date or something. Some girls don’t like it though, so a good experiment is to do it once and if the girl blasts past you next time to get the door herself it is a pretty good sign that she likes to get it herself. If not, though, I’m sure it is greatly appreciated and expected.

A huge rule I know a ton of guys violate is to avoid talking wistfully about ex-girlfriends. There is nothing that makes a girl more self-conscience in a relationship than hearing about “the one you will never forget”, even if you swear there is nothing going on. It just seems like you are being compared to other girls you’ve dated and that makes girls switch over to “defensive/competitive mode” which can be dangerous. It’s a sure sign you’ll be sleeping alone that night.

Here are some other random thoughts on what makes a girl happy and is essential to a successful relationship. See your girlfriend as close to every day as possible. If you can’t see her, call her. I always like to know what is going on with my boyfriend, so at least act like you care about what is going on in her life. Go on official dates every once in a while, and a kegger on the weekends doesn’t count. The beer guzzling can be put on hold for one night for dinner and a movie. The effort should pay off. Never watch TV at the same time you are making out with your girlfriend or stop mid-conversation when you are talking to her and your show comes back on, unless you are ready to be yelled at.

Never flirt with girls especially if your girlfriend is with you, and NEVER flirt with her friends. Believe me, girls are wicked, especially in groups, and they love to gang up on bad boyfriends.

Tell girls every once in a while how you feel about them, it will make them feel good. Don’t expect action on the first date. Listen to what girls have to say. Be respectful. That is about all I can think of.

I think if you guys take to heart what I have to say or just realize when you might be acting like a jerk so you can stop, you should have more luck with the ladies than ever.

I think the secret is to think like a girl and you will know exactly what to do. Try it out and see how things go. Good luck!