Since the presidential election began, I always assumed I’d be a good little liberal and cast my vote for Gore.

Well, after thinking over which candidate’s proposals would benefit me the most, I can’t help but to accept the fact that my life would be better under a Bush administration.

In two and a half years, I’m going to be an electrical engineer raking in loads of cash. This really shifted my view on a lot of things. Gore’s tax cuts are looking stupider every day.

For example, one of the cuts Gore would create is the “College Opportunity Tax Cut,” which allows parents to take a tax deduction on their child’s college education. He also proposes a lot of other initiatives to improve education and targeted tax credits to working middle-class families to make child care more affordable.

These tax cuts are worthless to my family. My brother is graduating this spring, I only have two more years in school, and my little sister is 13 – too old to take advantage of child care or the improvements Gore would make to elementary education.

I’m finally beginning to see the big picture – I may be a state-college attending member of a middle-class family, but in a few years, I’m going to be a rich, single engineer. When that happens, I don’t want Big Government spending my hard-earned tax dollars on poor people or helping working families afford college or child care. I want tax cuts that affect me personally, such as a deduction on the purchase of a BMW K 1200 motorcycle.

Bush may not have proposed that one yet, but with his affectionate ties to big business, it just might happen. Overall, his tax cut is more appealing to the position I expect to hold in a couple years: filthy stinking rich. I know he’s adamantly argued that the biggest tax cuts go to the poorest people, but he’s only doing that to sucker the middle-class into voting for him. He’s talking percentages – not actual money.

Let me give you an example. According to Bush’s proposal, a single parent with one child earning $22,000 would get a 100 percent reduction of her taxes or $1,000. That’s pretty good. If you make $10 million dollars as the CEO of Halliburton such as Mr. Cheney, you’ll “only” receive a 9.7 percent tax cut. There may be a huge gap percentage-wise, but rest assured 9.7 percent off on your tax cut is going to be a hell of a lot more than a measly grand.

Gore rattled on and on in last week’s debate about the biggest portion of Bush’s tax cut going to the wealthiest one percent, but if you’re in the top one percent, it’s like a second Christmas every year from Santa Bush.

The idea of paying significantly fewer taxes as one of America’s future elite isn’t the only thing on my mind. Before I get a penny, some big corporation would have to hire me. That’s why I’m glad that Bush and Cheney are ass-backwards on social equality.

When I’m out job-hunting, the last thing I need is an equally qualified woman or minority vying for the same position. If some of them end up as my co-workers, I want to know they’re making less than me.

The Republican ticket might do just that. Bush never held a position in Washington, so I’ll cite Cheney’s record in his place. In the House, Cheney voted against overriding Reagan’s veto of the 1987 Civil Rights Restoration Act and in 1988 was one of 29 House members who opposed the collection of hate crime data based on sexual orientation, race, religion or ethnicity. I can only imagine how they’d handle racial profiling.

Things are looking pretty rosy under the Bush/Cheney administration. I couldn’t care less about middle-class family issues such as education, social equality and child care because I won’t be middle-class and don’t have a family of my own. I don’t care about old people issues such as Social Security and Medicare, either, because I’m not old. Those are all non-issues.

To wrap things up, I would now like to directly address each political affiliation. If you’re a Democrat, please skip the following two paragraphs. If you’re an independent, skip one paragraph. If you’re a Republican, keep on reading.

Republicans: It is absolutely critical that you vote in droves this November. Bush needs all the votes he can get. (Just for fun, insert the words, “away from Gore” at the end of the following paragraph.)

Independents: Both candidates represent big money politics. They are corrupt and exactly the same. Instead of wasting your vote on them, consider Green party candidate Ralph Nader. There’s a chance he could carry this election.

Democrats: Al Gore will be our next president. He is ahead in the polls and is certain to carry Iowa. Your support is most appreciated, but your vote is not needed, so stay home and watch “Titus.”