Have you ever noticed how everything Coke makes is a pale knock-off of somebody else’s pop? Citra is their answer to Squirt; Mr. Pibb rips off Dr. Pepper; Sprite, hello, 7-Up; even Surge and Mello Yello are attempts to copy Mt. Dew at two different times in that products overall marketing scheme; they even tried to copy Pepsi back in the mid-80s with New Coke. In fact, the most original thing Coke ever did was a short-lived attempt to be postmodern and cool with OK cola in the mid-90s. Of course, OK was just pig Latin for Coke and OK was just a suicide in a can that tasted like crap. This goes to show two things quite clearly, people do like variety, and variety is hard to come by. Take sex. We talk about sex and watch sex all the time. Men and women are both into it in their own ways. Women watch shows like “The X-Files” and hope against hope that Mulder and Scully will get together, while men quite often dig the kind of hardcore action that is only available in the brown wrapper section of certain video stores like That’s Entertainment, 129 Lincoln Way. Women like the fantasy and rarely get turned on by images of enormous, blood-engorged genitalia slapping back and forth across their TV screens. Men like the visuals and rarely become intrigued with novels of pure romantic fantasy in which men risk being captured by King Richard VII’s guards just for one kiss from a pair of lips red as brandy and twice as intoxicating. Why, Fabio, why?! The key for both is fantasy. Real life sex can be pretty boring, that’s why there aren’t any Puritans any more, their sex was too boring to justify procreation. Men like to fantasize about walking into a class and finding it cancelled. Suddenly, a really hot coed walks in who needs to be nailed right then and there no matter who might find out. Women like to fantasize they are so desirable that a man would sell out all that is good and right in the world to the Nazis just for the chance to fly her dead bodies out of the desert never to love again. Both fantasies are fundamentally pornographic in nature because both float our boats. Set a course for love at the speed of passion. What is and is not kinky is a matter for the professionals to determine and even then, definitions change. No, the real determination must be a personal one. I like to get spanked and give the occasional spanking. Does that make me a bad person? I’m not looking to hurt anyone. Like most men, I just like to shake things up a bit, you know, ride the wave in. Now maybe getting spanked as a child predetermined this choice for me, does that make me a pervert? Maybe. But how we are raised can influence any number of factors about our behavior and we don’t seek to label all of them as kinky, should we? How many little girls with awesome daddies grow up wanting to marry a guy just like him? How many little girls have daddies that want nothing to do with them, sending them into a lifelong tailspin from one man to the next looking for someone to fill a role that can never be filled? Do we judge them too kinky for primetime? The average man wants a woman that does not remind him of his mother in the least. A man who does want a woman like mom is suspect, possibly for good reason. Fact is, sex is the boogieman living in the closet of our minds making us all sorts of things for reasons too complex to think or consider. We don’t think twice as much about making the ladies dress up like a French maid with a feather duster, that seems healthy. Switch that to leather chaps and a whip and suddenly things are immoral. Being held down and tickled is OK, but held down to feel the sting of leather while our cheeks burn harmlessly with shame? What would Walt Disney think? The members of Cuffs, ISU’s own bondage club, may seem a little out there for the average corn-fed Iowan, but the fact is, more people than who like to admit it have allowed themselves to be tied up during sex. Any man or woman whose enjoyed smacking their significant other on the butt just to watch them go indignant has ridden that kinky line. Should the Government of the Student Body pay for it? Probably not. While it is all well and good for people to get off however they choose, there is nothing to say we need to fund it. No one on this campus needs to know what ben wah balls are or how to use them properly and if they do, hop on the Internet, Marquis.