Today, let’s try something new. We’ll play a guessing game. I’ll list some works of literature, and you tell me what the common link is. Here’s your first set: “The Bible,” “Hamlet,” “The Odyssey” and “Beowulf.” Give up? The common link is that these works of literature, considered essential now, would probably be banned by Al Gore and Joseph Lieberman from being marketed as movies, since they all depict some kind of graphic violence. Talk about striking a blow for overprotective parents everywhere. If Al Gore keeps on being a soccer mom, we’ll have no violent movies, video games or music and, accordingly, we’ll never see violence again – except for on the streets, in our schools, on the domestic front and abroad. The fact is, Gore and Lieberman’s use of the media as a scapegoat for violence in the United States is a pathetic attempt to satisfy those parents who want the government to watch over their children. If Gore is looking to incite violence, this plan may work. Frankly, the idea of the government regulating what an industry can produce based on shaky sociological data and a couple kids in trench coats getting trigger-happy makes me scarlet with rage. I’m feeling more furious because of this than I did after seeing “The Matrix.” If Gore wants to encourage gun control bills, request more detailed movie ratings and do all the things that will make 13-year-olds angry, fine. But not this much. Gore and Lieberman are shaking their fist at the movie industry and threatening to bust some chops if they don’t reform. Of course, what’s most pathetic about this is that Gore can’t even claim to be the first to pioneer this idiotic idea. Four years ago, Bob Dole was suggesting a plan that was roughly the same. In Tuesday’s New York Times, an unidentified marketing chief of a movie studio bemoaned the situation, asking how they were supposed to market R-rated films to their core audiences on shows like WWF Wrestlemania since much of the audiences for such shows are composed of children. He has a point. Frankly, marketing to easily influenced people is the point of advertising. Ironic, really, that the Federal Trade Commission complains about advertising during such shows. They can’t see the forest OR the trees. They’re so frantic about children seeing “The Matrix” that they don’t notice the violence, hatred, condescension, chauvinism and bad theatrics involved in professional wrestling. Everyone wants to aim the blame away from the children and their parents. But it’s time to face the truth. People are ultimately accountable for their own actions. Maybe the first-grader in Flint, Michigan who shot his classmate didn’t understand the consequences of his violence, but considering the environment he lived in, I doubt he got his idea of a cold-blooded killing from any movie. In his case, it could easily have come from his version of family values. The entire community looked like a re-enactment of “Boyz in the Hood.” But, in the interest of garnering political support, Gore can just ignore sociological factors such as the environment and personal attitudes and go for the common enemy of overprotective parents everywhere: the media. Even more frightening, we see another similarity between Bush and Gore. In this case, the only distinction is that Bush would prefer to take guns off televisions and put them in the hands of the public so they can exercise their rights to the utmost extent. Whether or not parents in America actually watch their children, I can’t say. But to revoke an industry’s right to create based on a couple of mentally unstable children going on killing sprees is on the verge of totalitarianism. Violence is a part of life for many who don’t even have access to violent movies, just ask any anthropology professor. There is homophobia where people have never heard Eminem, there is violence where no one’s seen “American Psycho,” and there is vulgarity where people can’t see “South Park.” In Japan, people see cartoons that are filled with violence and promiscuity, and there is remarkably little crime. Why? No, Mr. Gore, not because of the media. It’s because people are personally accountable for their actions, and there’s not a line of people making excuses for them. It’s easy to blame the disenfranchised and take legislative action against them – far easier than it is to take away the rights of Americans who actually have rights. But a line needs to be drawn. After we eliminate Shakespeare from our schools because of the violence in “Macbeth” or the hatred in “Hamlet,” we’ll have nothing to blame, but the body count won’t go down. After we’ve prevented Hollywood from making “Saving Private Ryan,” people will still shoot each other. But what’s the loss of a little culture?