The powers that be are remaking the 1975 classic, “Rollerball.” What the hell are they thinking? I don’t know about you, but a classic like that should not be remade. You wouldn’t remake “Casablanca,” “Gone with the Wind” or “Psycho” would you? Damn you, Gus Van Sant! Damn you all to hell!

In case you haven’t seen it, “Rollerball” is an amazing example of 1970s dystopic science fiction in the same genre as “Westworld,” “THX 1138” and “Death Race 2000.” It is a film about a near-future world in which countries have been replaced by corporations, war is a thing of the past and so is freedom and true individuality. How goofy is that? People wouldn’t give up their freedom and individuality for stuff, right?

In this world, there is no more war because society is geared to mass production and mass consumption with which war could only interfere. To make up for the loss of war, they have rollerball to satisfy the need for competition between regions.

But this isn’t your father’s rollerball, people get killed playing this violent game of the future. The game is meant to demonstrate the futility of individuality in a homogenous world, and it works for the most part.

The one and only James Caan plays Jonathan E., the greatest rollerball player in the world. Jonathan E. is so good, he is making a mockery of the hidden agenda of the corporations. So, of course, they want him to retire. Of course, he doesn’t want to. Of course, they want to kill him as a lesson to everyone else who would stand up to their might.

In spite of the film’s cheesy, ’70s “jumpsuits-and-bubblecars-are-our-future” look, the movie resonates with truth and has a great deal of gritty realism to it that science fiction movies really nailed in the decade that gave us both Richard Nixon and Jimmy Carter for presidents. One could quite easily see a future like this coming down the pike in some form or another.

Why? Americans really love their corporations. Brand loyalty plays a greater part in most people’s lives than patriotism. I know I wouldn’t go to war to destroy commies, but I think sometimes, I could kill for a Mountain Dew.

Corporations are slick. They package everything dirty (like crackers and cheese) in bright cardboard containers with plastic separators, and that just makes what would have been a hassle bearable.

McDonald’s could sell a turd sandwich so long as they put ranch dressing on it and called it a McTurdwich, people would line up for miles to get Extra Value Meal Number Two.

Corporations could sell us grim death, and we would buy it if it came in the right choice of colors dripping with sex suggesting we were cooler than we really are if only we use that product. Cigarette anyone? How about a beer or a third-pound burger with four slices of cheddar, mayo and cheese sauce?

Most Americans like to think of themselves as individuals and this is ironic to say the least. But underneath the Tommy Jeans, Abercrombie and Fitch windbreakers and American Eagle fitted caps, we are all shouting in unison: “We are unique!”

We would never expressly think of ourselves as “corporate lapdogs;” it goes against the grain. Yet, we can’t wait to wear labels. Most of us would sooner starve than consume anything that doesn’t have a major advertising campaign behind it.

For example, what you choose as your favorite soft drink may seem like a subjective choice based solely on taste, but it isn’t. Even the makers of Coke know their brown sugar water doesn’t taste as good as the brown sugar water put out by Pepsi. How do I know? Am I just making this up to sound cool? Hell, no. Coca-Cola Inc. tested the populace and created New Coke based on market research and the unbiased opinions of the public at large.

Of course, the public didn’t realize what was up, and when Coke changed their formula, people freaked. Even though the new product tasted better according to public opinion, the public still wanted their familiar brand back.

What Coke and the corporate world at large discovered is that people like to consume crap so long as it has the right marketing behind it. Ever since, corporations have been even less concerned with quality than brand recognition and market saturation than ever.

Corporations are taking over whether you believe it or not. Wars have always been about economic interest, whether that interest was over territory or natural resources is not even a fine distinction any more, but the same thing. Who really cared about Kuwait? The Gulf War was all about oil.

Corporations are the largest special interest groups in the country, and they are the only ones with enough cash to buy votes. This is dressed up and taken out on the town as simple lobbying, but it is as close as you can get to corporate control without actually disbanding the United States, and they would never do that because when it comes to brand recognition, it doesn’t get any better than the United States.

I suspect that the remake of “Rollerball” will completely miss the point of the original, that does seem to be the trend these days.

It is difficult to imagine a corporation today making a movie about the evils of corporations without turning it into a comedy to sidestep the message, but perhaps I am being paranoid. The movie isn’t even out yet, give it a chance, right?

Of course, the new film will not star the serious and intense James Caan; it will instead star Chris Klein of “American Pie,” Jean Reno of “The Professional” and veteran Shakespearean/rapper LL Cool J of “In the House,” and I am sure it will stick it to The Man.

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Greg Jerrett is a graduate student in English from Council Bluffs. He is opinion editor of the Daily.