‘Notorious KIM’

Lil’ Kim

No genre of music or artist within that genre can last long when all they produce are songs that reduce that genre to a stereotype. Just to sum up how lame Lil’ Kim’s new album, “The Notorious KIM” is, track No. 4 is a delightful concoction called “Suck My Dick.” Within the confines of this song, Lil’ Kim says that if she were a guy, she would tell various people to just “suck her dick.”

We aren’t talking about rocket science here, Kim, if you were a guy this badder-than-everybody act might make a little more sense. Granted, Lil’ Kim has to keep up the tough act or lose her street credibility, but this? If she had a penis, she wouldn’t be a hack rapper, she’d be the least talented hermaphrodite in the adult-film industry.

The album opens with a spoken word courtroom scene reminiscent of the earlier works of NWA — only bad. “I may be hard-core, your honor, but I’m not Jeffrey Dahmer.” No, you’re not, he was good at his chosen avocation.

For 77 minutes, this CD drones on from one bad stereotype to the next. Frankly, rap has moved beyond this, and female rappers in particular have been doing some positive work. Lauryn Hill has shown us all that rap can uplift and doesn’t have to just be about bustin’ a cap in somebody’s ass for steppin’ to ’em.

This album is packed with featured performers, too: Mary J. Blige, Yellowman, Junior M.A.F.I.A., but that doesn’t help much overall. Nothing new under the sun on this album. Dig out some Queen Latifah, at least it was original when she did it.

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‘Now you see inside’

SR-71

Ever wonder what would happen if Blink 182 and N’Sync were stranded on the Island of Dr. Moreau and forced to undergo bizarre genetic experiments to see what would happen if the two were forced to mate?

Of course, not. Some things man was not meant to know.

SR-71 is, hand to God, the worst aspects of a wannabe Green Day, Blink 182 and a big business- manufactured boy band.

They even have the token “weird facial hair guy.” They are all way too cute to be a normal assemblage of human males and can only be the result of interference from a label.

The prime indicator of corporate boy band manipulation is that the music is vapid, worthless nonsense with a slightly irreverent punkish attitude.

The name is another clue. SR-71 is a spy plane. U2 already had this one covered; anyone with any integrity would have avoided the whole spy plane as band name for the appearance of originality.

“Politically Correct” is SR-71’s tirade about how raunchy and politically incorrect they are … because they’re punks, you see.

“I don’t mean to piss you off with things I might say, when I try to shout my mouth they come out anyway. If you spoke your mind you might feel more connected.”

All the while recycled “Dookie” three-chord riffs without the same emotional resonance are squealing in the background like stuck pigs — really boring, emotionally vacant, stuck pigs.

“Right Now” is the song voted most likely to get air play and be this one-hit wonder’s one hit. This is the track RCA obviously was banking on when it green-lighted this album. It is just catchy enough to make a go of it for a week or two, and may be that song you associate with the summer of ’00. It may also be the one you are most likely to confuse with “What’s My Age Again?”

Long story short, don’t do it. Borrow a friend’s copy and destroy it because friends don’t let friends listen to crap.

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‘Groove’

Music from and inspired by the motion picture

Thump thump thump. Sound bite. Thump thump thump thump thump thump. Sound bite. Thump. Sound bite. Thump. The end.

You now know all you need to know about the soundtrack to “Groove,” the movie that takes an insider’s look at the San Francisco rave scene.

The songs on this album are inspired by as well as from “Groove,” but if you can honestly tell one track from another let alone which tracks were actually in the film and which ones were merely “inspired by” the film, then good luck.

Electronica can be powerful and while some critics find it repetitive, it is largely due to compilations like this one that go on forever with nothing like a break in sight.

Tracks like these are why people need to take X, G and nitrous oxide unadulterated by air.

The constant thumping hypnotizes you into thinking this endless drum machine is good tunage.

But giving credit where credit is due, it does have a good beat and you can dance to it for hours and hours and hours without even realizing that the tracks or artists are changing.

In contrast, Altering’s “Infinitely Gentle Blows” is so stunningly beautiful that it could make a grown man weep. Not that it did, but it could.

It has gorgeous, other-worldly vocals backed by a trance beat that sends the listener way the hell far away to a lovely place where Harry Potter books are free for the asking and licorice whips are still a nickel.

But that is the only really bright spot.