Battle of the epics

Greg Jerrett

In the opening weekend of the summer blockbuster season, “Gladiator” has been trouncing “Battlefield Earth” at the box office. Ticket sales aside, the two films are still at opposite ends of the spectrum.

“Gladiator” is the fictitious story of Maximus (Russell Crowe “The Insider,” “L.A. Confidential”). Maximus is the general of Rome’s armies in Germania. He is wildly popular with his men and wants nothing more than to go home.

He is also much loved by Caesar Marcus Aurelius (Richard Harris “A Man Called Horse,” “Unforgiven”), the dying emperor who has long dreamed of returning Rome to its glorious republican past by abolishing the office of Emperor.

To this end, he charges Maximus with the duty of organizing this Herculean feat. Caesar’s heir apparent, Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix “8MM,” “Spacecamp”), has other ideas and in true Roman fashion decides to take matters, as well as his father’s life, into his own hands.

It is at this point that the fun really begins. Maximus and his family are to be executed in service to the new regime because the general knows something funny is going on and he is not about to swear his loyalty to the punkish Commodus.

After kicking the hell out of the Praetorian guards who were meant to execute him, Maximus beats feet for the green hills of home to save his family, but to no avail.

In a mildly disorienting montage, Maximus is sold as a slave and is forced to become a gladiator in the service of Proximo (Oliver Reed “The Adventures of Baron Munchausen,” “Gor”). It is here that he finds his way back to Rome after the blood sports are reinstated by Commodus who is desperately looking to be loved by the masses. Here Maximus comes face to face with the emperor and defies him.

The story is compelling with only one major drawback which is that it is completely false. The history of the Roman Empire is magnificent. This empire encompassed nearly a fourth of the known world’s population, their technological achievements were staggering and their brutality could not be surpassed either.

There is enough intrigue, mystery and violence in the true story of Rome to shock censors back into the Stone Age. So when it comes time to make an epic adventure, it seems somewhat strange that a completely fictitious story would even be necessary when anything you make up about the Roman Empire pales in comparison to the reality. Their lives were much more fantastic than anything we could invent today.

With that said, “Gladiator” still works on a variety of levels. The use of computer effects to bring the ancient capital to life was sweet but not overdone. Much like “Titanic,” the effects aided the storytelling and never once over-shadowed it.

The violence was thrilling in its realism. Russell Crowe never looked like he was faking it and even Joaquin Phoenix who is normally a jackass looked like he knew what he was doing with a sword.

The film is packed not just with big names but big talent. Derek Jacob, Richard Harris, David Schooled, Oliver Reed and John Schrapnel make up the supporting cast.

These actors are all the rage of stage and screen and if American audiences are somewhat unfamiliar with them it is through no fault of theirs. They lend the film serious credibility and if they have any faults, it is treating the subject matter with a bit too much austerity.

Djimon Hounsou (“Amistad,” “Stargate”) plays Juba, a fellow gladiator, who shows Maximus how to stay free in his mind. His performance is understated and endearing.

The story drags in places and falls short of the true feeling of an epic often. It just doesn’t go far enough from point A to point B to make anyone feel as though they are watching something which qualifies as an epic.

The music was ethereal and spot on. Hans Zimmer and Lisa Gerrard of Dead Can Dance do the score and it was beautiful and aided the imagery better than any computer ever could.

This should be the first film you see this summer.

Then there is “Battlefield Earth.” Billed as another one of the first blockbusters of the summer, it falls on its face faster than a drunk freshman at a frat party. There are so many things wrong with this movie that it would be faster and easier to say what is right with it: nothing.

That isn’t as much fun to read so let’s elaborate. The story blows like a summer breeze during a tornado warning. Thank God this reviewer never read the mammoth novel when he had a chance to in high school because the resulting coma would not have been worth it.

The story is duller than a butter knife. The earth is in the control of hideous corporate aliens called Psychlos who are only interested in profit, leverage and power. Man has been reduced to a primitive state and is close to extinction.

John Travolta (“Pulp Fiction,” “Look Who’s Talking”) plays Chief of Security Terl, a Psychlo who has just been screwed over by his superiors into spending the next 50 cycles on Earth just as his tenure was about up.

He hatches a plan to get man animals to dig gold for him but his plan falters when he hooks Jonnie Goodboy Tyler (Barry Pepper “The Green Mile,” “Saving Private Ryan”) up to a Psychlo learning machine. Jonnie ends up learning more than Terl bargained for and he comes up with a brilliant plan to save the human race.

That sounds like a lot, but it really isn’t.

The Psychlos stumble around in their big boots trying to look huge and they only look like pathetic actors trying to look like huge domineering aliens. If they come from a planet with a much higher gravity than earth, then why aren’t they sprightly and bouncy?

Far from the only thing that stumbles across the screen, the plot lumbers around like a gutshot wildebeest, too. This story just isn’t compelling enough to fill up the screen time. Televised 1960s science fiction has more to offer in terms of story.

The direction was weak as well. Most of the shots looked like they were set up by a high school audio visual club, and the one who thought it would be cool to film everything at a cockeyed angle, like a “Green Hornet” fight scene, should be pummeled. This isn’t innovative, it’s annoying.

The acting was stiff like a corpse. Travolta did better when he was struggling to overcome the effects of his 1970s television career. Perhaps this is the drawback in starring in your god’s bestselling novel. Everyone was assing about in costume and you never felt compelled by their struggle.

The special effects were neither here nor there. It’s all been done before and the plot was so boring that they couldn’t prop it up with steel girders.

“Battlefield Earth” should be the first movie of the summer you see hit the video store, but wait until it hits the 99 cent rack and then rent it if everything else is gone.

Rating based on a ***** scale.