What building are you in? Is it named for a distinguished alumnus like George Washington Carver? Or maybe it’s the name of a former Iowa State president like Robert Parks?

Chances are growing greater every day that it isn’t named after a great scholar, but rather a wealthy donor.

Not to suggest that wealthy donors aren’t also great achievers, but as time goes by, more and more buildings on college campuses are being built or renovated in the name of anyone who’s got the bucks to make it happen.

No one is naive enough to assume that this sort of thing hasn’t been going on in one form or another for as long as there have been universities.

But there was always something unspoken about the way in which these things were done.

Always ahead of the game, the University of Iowa has begun codifying exactly what it will take to get buildings, schools and professorships named after them.

It is like creating a menu for the wealthy to easily peruse their narcissistic options on campus.

The final prices have yet to be set, but it will work something like this. If you want a professorship named after you, you are going to have to pony up at least $500,000. An endowed chair might cost $1.5 million. Nothing less will do.

Likewise, prices will be set for dean endowments, streets, halls.

Perhaps when the U of I starts seeing some results, they can extend the menu to include dorm floors, bike racks, and lavatory stalls for substantially lower sums.

Why not name everything on a rotating basis? Why settle for a few measly millions by naming a building for one donor when, after they die, you could auction off the building again?

Keep the mighty river of donations flowing.

Soon, every university in the United States will establish its own pricing system.

Every billionaire in the country will be able to find out where their donations will do the most good for their egos.

Why donate $10 million to have a school named after you at Iowa State when you can get one named after you for less elsewhere?

Money makes the world go around and buildings go up. But laying it out so obviously just shows the world how cheaply a university honor can be bought.

Iowa State Daily Editorial Board: Sara Ziegler, Greg Jerrett, Kate Kompas, Carrie Tett and David Roepke.