“Tiny Tank”

Sony Playstation

Imagine yourself traveling across a wasteland taken over by psychotic, robotic war machines — machines that have forced humanity into hiding as they scour the earth for the resources to build their army.

Sound a little like the plot to “The Terminator?” Sure it does, but these things become classics for a reason. Now add more than a little cutesy cartoon humor and you have “Tiny Tank.”

He’s the sassiest killing machine of the 21st century. No bigger than a vending machine, he packs an unlimited supply of ammo and one-liners as he tries to save the earth from the evil robot hordes of Sen Trax and Mutank.

The premise for “Tiny Tank” is one of the more entertaining you will see in any game. Each level of the game comes with it’s own little movie explaining how Tiny Tank came into being and what happened to all the people of earth.

In short, Sen Trax Corporation was having a hard time selling the American public on an automated robot army that would take killing out of the hands of humans once an for all. They needed a public relations scheme that could turn things around. Enter Tiny Tank.

To sell the public on robot-controlled war, Sen Trax CEO Goody Warsaw came up with a marketing plan to make war cute and fun for millions.

Little, yellow Tiny Tank has an 80mm cannon for a nose, expressive eyebrows and the destructive capacity of a sentient tank combined with the charisma of a Loony Toons character.

It was an overwhelming success. The public voted for a robot army and while doing so, sealed its fate. The robots took over, forcing the surviving humans into underground cities.

After being destroyed by his arch-nemesis Mutank, Tiny Tank spent 100 years being rebuilt by helper crabs until his reawakening. Now, Tiny Tank is mankind’s last hope.

Why now? Because the robots are planning to destroy earth’s atmosphere to prevent oxidation and rust. The evil bastards.

Each level of “Tiny Tank” is a new mission containing an objective to be destroyed in the furtherance of humanities survival.

What this game has that many others do not is a radio program with a kickin’ soundtrack and a Mutank talk show in which callers discuss their robotic insecurities and anxieties.

It is also over the airwaves that you find out what the general populace is saying about the reign of destruction which Tiny Tank is bringing down upon the world. “Hey, what’s the deal with this little, yellow tank blowing everything up?”

“Yellow is an unauthorized color, you must be hallucinating. Remember: imagination is discouraged.”

The banter is one of the best parts of “Tiny Tank.” It makes the game seem like a real world and the talkshow DJ, Mutank, does his best to spread Sen Trax propaganda between tunes.

In addition to the usual jump and fire buttons, Tiny has a talk button with a nearly endless supply of one-liners. If you feel the need to spout poetic after blowing up a ballet-dancing, two-legged, ten-story war machine, just push a button, and Tiny will say something to amuse, bewitch or bewilder.

“Tiny Tank” is not the kind of game that sets you down on a preset path giving you little to no control of your actions. Once you enter a level, you can spend as much or as little time as you like destroying enemies with rocket launchers, cannons and programmable mini tanks you send out to collect items, protect or explode on contact.

Every level has a unique character or situation that gives “Tiny Tank” its own special flavor. Too many games feel like the same thing over and over again with their vague “worlds” and paper-thin enemies.

But in this case, the designers had no shortage of new adventures for our little, yellow friend to get into or enemies for him to demolish. Walking mechanoids, killer tanks, automated ships and trains populate this world.

The laughs don’t get in the way of the killing, though. You can wade knee deep in hydraulic fluid if you want and watch the parts fly. The fantasy violence against robots makes “Tiny Tank” more or less appropriate for all ages, maturity levels and mental capacities.

“Tiny Tank” is good, clean killing fun for the whole freaking family.

3 Stars