Well, it’s Valentine’s Day again and I couldn’t be more friggin’ happy. In case you can’t tell, I’m being sarcastic.

Yes, it’s that time of year when people in long-term relationships shell out big bucks for presents that won’t mean as much because they’re expected, people in new relationships buy something cute that will be out with the trash in a month and the rest of us sit at home and hate the world.

I know I’m not alone on this. An unscientific pole of people sitting around my apartment last weekend, drinking warm beer and watching “The Big Lebowski,” showed that as many as 86 percent of ISU men may be without companionship this Valentine’s Day.

While this may not be representative of the male population of Iowa State as a whole, the results must still give us pause. I can only assume that there are at least as many women with the same problem. I should note, however, that given my track record, any and all assumptions about women at Iowa State should be taken with a grain of salt.

The bottom line, friends, is that this could be a lonely Valentine’s Day for a number of us. Sure, many of us spend every night alone, in the dark, with only the reruns of “Twin Peaks” on Bravo to keep us company. But for one day a year, we have to feel guilty for doing so.

It’s impossible to escape it, too.

Earlier this week, I overheard a conversation here at the Daily. Someone mentioned that Do-Biz was offering a deal on a big cookie. I thought to myself: “Hey, I could go for a big cookie.”

Then I open up the Daily to look at the ad, and find that it’s a cookie in the shape of a heart.

Maybe some of you have the self-esteem to buy a cookie shaped like a heart for yourselves, but I have not. It would be kind of like sitting in a room all alone, with a cupcake and one candle, singing happy birthday to myself.

This brings me to the issue of coping with Valentine’s Day, or even just the ups and downs of love in general. It seems to me there are two schools of thought on this.

The first one is to blame other people for the fact that you can’t find romantic fulfillment. Often times, this involves lashing out at former lovers.

“Man, I can’t believe what [he or she] did to me, that [expletive].”

While blind hatred towards another individual is certainly a way to deal with loneliness, anger is not everyone’s cup of tea. For those of us who are a bit neurotic, self-loathing is the way to go.

There’s no better way to kill a few hours, or even up to two and a half years, than to sit and wonder what it was you did to lose him or her, and convince yourself that they’re too good for you.

Of course, you’re going to need some music while you’re wallowing in self-pity. I suggest the following artists: Leonard Cohen, Chris Issak, Scud Mountain Boys, Freedy Johnston, Bob Dylan, Elliot Smith and Greg Brown. While there are many, many artists who deal in depression, these are a few that I particularly enjoy when I’m digging myself an emotional hole.

Another good idea is to listen to the favorite artist of the last person you had a relationship with. Nothing brings back the pain of a recent heartbreak like her favorite band. If possible, put on “your song” and look at old pictures.

Some may accuse me of being cynical and depressing. Others may accuse me of simply re-hashing the same anti-Valentine’s day column I wrote last year. Both may be right, but there is a method to my madness.

Lashing out in anger and wallowing in self-pity are not healthy, but the problem they address is not a healthy one either.

In a culture that already puts such a high premium on romantic love, why do we need a special day to honor those few lucky enough to be in love?

Being lonely sucks every day of the week, without a misinterpreted celebration of a Christian martyr to make it worse.

Our culture is so built around the idea of finding “the one,” that we’ve created a society of co-dependents who can’t function without a romantic relationship.

Being in love is great, but for every person in love there are ten enduring a bad relationship because they’re afraid of being alone.

The plain-faced truth of the matter is that romantic love, like anything else, may not be for everybody. It requires a certain personality, a willingness to adapt that personality and a lot of luck. At best, these qualities are hard to come by, so why do so many people insist on finding them?

They do so, because it’s hard to accept that loneliness is a fundamental truth of human existence. Almost categorically, all the great works of art, regardless of the medium, deal with loneliness in some fundamental way.

So if you’re flying solo this Valentine’s Day, don’t let pop culture and socialization make you feel like you’ve got anything to be ashamed of.

Buy yourself a heart-shaped cookie, drink some booze and say to hell with everyone else.

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Ben Godar is a senior is sociology from Ames. He is assistant arts & entertainment editor at the Daily. Check out DJ Sirhan’s “Valentines Day Sucks” special Sunday night, from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. on 88.5 KURE.