I’ve been a student at this prestigious university for nigh on seven semesters now, and from time to time, I notice things around campus that I don’t particularly like.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m more than grateful to be attending the best land-grant university west of Colo and east of Moingona. But I still think there are things about ISU that could be improved.

I only mention that I’ve been here a while because I don’t want you all to think that I’m the type of person that just flies off the handle about everything. Truly, I’m a very patient, nurturing person. But after three and a half years, you just get tired of looking at certain things.

One thing I’m sick of looking at is signs taped to the sidewalk wishing a friend a happy 21st birthday. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with Sandra being wished a happy 21st by her friends, collectively called “The Dog Pound,” but why the hell should I have to look at a picture of Sandra dressed in a monkey suit every time I walk to Ross for the next 16 years?

Good people of “The Dog Pound,” did you really have to use 800 feet of industrial-strength duct tape to put your sign down? If it takes nothing short of a welding torch and 15 pounds of C-4 to get your “birthday wishes” off the sidewalk, you’re probably overdoing it.

Something else I’m sick of is all the letters that pour into the Daily about God and homosexuality. I’ve complained about this before, and when I did, I was accused of trying to suppress people’s right to speak out. I don’t have a problem with these people voicing their opinions, I’m just sick at the sight of them.

For three and a half years I’ve had to read the diatribe of every ignoramus with Philosophy 230 under his or her belt, trying to settle, once and for all, if there is a God.

Scholars and theologians have been debating this issue for the entire duration of human history, so why does some junior in transportation logistics think he’s finally going to solve the argument once and for all?

On top of that, what in God’s name (no pun intended) is provoking these letters except other letters that are nearly identical in nature? You would think that most people compelled to write in to the paper would do so to voice their concern over breaking local, state or national news.

Apparently, a number of people simply wake up and say to themselves, “Well, it’s Tuesday. Guess I’ll write a letter to the Daily about how God hates homosexuals.”

If you ever find yourself thinking this way, I’ve got a better suggestion. Why don’t you go to central campus and pick up the leaves one by one? You’ll make about as much difference.

And while I’m on the subject of unusual forums for religious discourse, what’s the deal with this Christian coffee shop on Lincoln Way?

Let me correct that, it’s not a coffee shop, it’s a dessert place. And, in fairness, I’ve only been in the doorway once. I thought the place was a coffee shop, so I figured I’d check it out. Turns out there were about four items on the menu. I wasn’t in the mood for a Jesus shake, so I took my business elsewhere.

Since when does a restaurant need a religious ideology? I know, I know, no one HAS to go there if they don’t want to. All I’m saying is I rarely want my burger served with a side order of whacko fundamentalism.

If I’m going to complain about things at or around the university, far be it from me to leave the administration out. In the end, you just have to take everything they say with a grain of salt.

Just remember when they say “We’re working in the best interests of students” they mean “We want your money,” and when they say “We’re working to make this the best land-grant university in the country,” they mean “We are in direct cahoots with Mephistopholes.”

I’ve always been fascinated by ISU’s little catch phrase “It Works.” Apparently whoever coined this clever little gem has never tried to go to the bathroom in East Hall, because most of them don’t, in fact, “work.”

So I, for one, take little pride in the opening of Howe Hall. I guess I feel a little put out that the friggin’ engineering students are getting a new multi-million dollar building (again), while the sociology department is still housed in a building that should have been condemned during the Johnson administration.

Well, I think that’s about all the venting I have for today. I’m sure there are plenty of other things going on around here that I’m forgetting about, but that’s okay. Sometimes it just feels good to let off a little steam.

And I’m sure that some of you are wondering why you took the time to read this bitter ramble. For you who think that way, I can only say that if you read this far you have only yourselves to blame.

Ben Godar is a senior in sociology from Ames who can do a monologue that will knock your pants off, mister!