Rape is a crime of the heart for the victim and a crime of convenience for the perpetrator.

This message was presented to a crowd of Iowa State students and members of the Ames community Thursday evening at Stephens Auditorium. It was a painful message, but Andrea Fuller Cooper wants college students around the country to understand the effect date rape has on young men and women.

Cooper’s speech began with memories of her daughter Kristen’s final night. Kristen shot herself on New Year’s Eve 1995 after depression resulting from date rape committed by a close friend.

“As a parent, they think they’ll lose you in an automobile accident; I never thought I had to worry about suicide,” said Cooper, who was speaking in conjunction with Sigma Chi fraternity’s Derby Days.

When Cooper and her husband, Mike, went into the family room that evening, they found Kristen laying dead on the couch.

Kristen didn’t leave a note, but her journal, which was laying beside her, told about the rape, excluding the perpetrator’s name. She had never told her parents.

“[When I found out Kristen was raped], it didn’t phase me; there was no way it was true,” she said. “How could she be raped and not tell anyone?”

Statistics show that 46 percent of rape victims never tell anyone, and nearly 85 percent of rapes are committed by a friend, relative or acquaintance, Cooper said.

Kristen told her best friend in her hometown of Littleton, Colo., and her Alpha Chi Omega sisters.

“They were all partying and having a great time when Kristen decided to stay,” said Cooper, who recalled the night that rape happened as told to her by her daughter’s friends. “She felt she could trust him; that’s when he raped her.”

Cooper said alcohol played a role in her daughter’s rape. She said she didn’t see the signs of Kristen’s depression until it was too late. Kristen’s sorority sisters did see the signs and tried to help her by setting up counseling sessions.

“Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem,” she said. “Nothing is so bad to take your life.”

Cooper told the audience to look for the classic signs of depression in their friends and family members — crying all of the time, weight changes, dropping grades, not caring about physical appearance and cutting classes — to save others from suicide.

The speech was sponsored by the Delta Delta Delta National Sorority, the Alpha Chi Omega National Sorority, ISU Panhellenic Council, ISU InterFraternity Council, Committees on Lectures, ISU’s women studies program, YWCA and the Story County Sexual Assault Response Team.