Stress. The very word makes me tense up. In spite of my cool exterior and low-key homespun charm, I am a basketcase 90 percent of the time.

If you thought high school was stressful, well, you’re probably right. Nothing gets the blood pumping like the dreaded fear of a wedgie or talking to girls, God forbid. But college is the real thing.

Everything you might have experienced in the locker rooms or hallways of Keokuk High has a real world equivalent.

All those cool kids who got so much out of their charms and ability to talk to teachers as if they were equals are going to use that advantage to communicate and get things out of profs.

They will score all the the plum roles, jobs and positions because communication skills are the key to success.

The loners and outsiders who felt alienated and rejected by society are going to continue on that path throughout college. They will become the punks and activists you will read about.

The really super positive “up with people” kids will find their niche as well organizing the events we attend on campus. Get ready to rally!

And stress has its place here, too. Taking 15 credits while trying to be involved in extra-curriculars and maintaining a social life can stress out the most relaxed of individuals.

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Public Health Service — which covers alcohol, drug abuse and mental health — there are a few facts about stress we all should be familiar with.

We all need stress or life would be boring. This is true in the most basic of senses. Living under the gun is maybe a bit too much stress. Having to sit through boring commercials to get back to “Joe Bob’s Summer School” on TNT is about the level of stress most people want.

The reality is in between. Getting up for an early morning class, cramming for tests, writing papers and doing projects at the last minute are standard stress fare at ISU.

The best part about stress is when it dissipates. Stress makes you glad you did something when it’s past. Not getting everything you want the moment you want it makes you appreciate it more. Waiting for that delivery guy makes the pizza taste better.

Different things stress different people in different ways. That guy who can’t sit still for a 50-minute class can’t handle the stress of doing little or nothing.

Put him on a mountain bike and suddenly we see how one maniac careening around campus can stress out hundreds of quasi-innocent pedestrians whose main source of stress is fear of having a bike slam into them at 60 mph.

Recognizing the signs of stress are important. There are three stages.

The first stage is alarm. “Oh my God, I am currently experiencing stress. How can I make it stop?”

The second stage is resistance. “This stress is making me tense because my body cannot handle this much stimulus! I hope I do not develop a stress-related disease such as migraine, backache or insomnia!”

And the third stage is exhaustion. “Man, I’m beat. Stressful stimuli and the resulting sense of hopelessness I feel makes me want to take a nap or something.”

But what is there to do about stress? “Can’t we just live in a stress-free utopia as envisioned by Aldous Huxley or self-medicate with alcohol and perhaps marijuana?”

That’s a reasonable question. But the answer is no. Living completely without stress can be as bad as having too much. Plus drinking and taking drugs for the wrong reasons is never a good idea. Never drink, smoke pot, or shoot heroin just to relax. Only do those things for the right reasons: Peer pressure and advancing your modeling career.

Here are some good ways to alleviate stress.

Exercise is a good for some people. Waiting in line to get a machine at the rec center just to look like a fat fool in sweat pants will increases your stress, however.

Share your stress. Talk to your friends. Call your parents. Spreading the misery that is your hellish life may make the difference between coping well and electro-shock therapy.

Know your limits. If you can’t hack it, back off for a while until you can. Accept the inevitable. If she says, “I like you, but … ” You’re screwed. Accept it, pal.

Treat yourself well. Sleep and eat properly. Living like a rock star isn’t for everybody. Look what happened to Keith Richards, for the love of God.

Take time to have fun. Plan it out so it doesn’t interfere with work. Every Thursday is “look like a lady night” somewhere, Ru Paul.

Get involved. Sitting home alone just makes you a whiny, frustrated victim. Get out and be around people. Try skydiving. Ride a bike … on the street. Help somebody else who actually has it worse than you.

Make a list and check off each completed task. Sure, you’ll look like an anal retentive freak. But you’ll be a happy and healthy freak.

Don’t always insist on being right. Give a little. Remember: When you get into an argument with a jackass, bystanders can’t tell the difference.

Cry. It’s okay to let it out. Squirt us a few, punk. You ain’t so tough. You gonna cry, baby? Huh? Come on cry. Wahhhh!

Avoid treating yourself with non-prescription drugs. Drugs are bad unless a doctor says it’s okay. And not just anybody who says he’s a doctor and asks you if you want some smoke.

And finally, just relax. Nothing is as bad as you probably think it is. Problems go away. New ones come around, of course. But they will leave, too … hopefully.

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Greg Jerrett is a graduate student in English from Council Bluffs. He is opinion editor of the Daily.