The music revolution will be televised, but don’t count on hearing any music. Not at Woodstock ’99.

After being offered a ride to Rome, N.Y., to experience three days of peace, love and music, my dream of actually going to Woodstock vanished into oblivion. My summer job refused to give me the days off.

But I didn’t lose hope. I had MTV to keep me tuned-in to the weekend’s events. Or so I thought.

MTV had been advertising the event for weeks: An All Access Weekend with in-depth coverage of Woodstock ’99. Live music and exclusive interviews. My own backstage pass to Woodstock ’99 — all within the comfort of my own living room. At least that’s how they advertised it.

But what MTV actually came through with (or didn’t come through with) was a different story.

Continuing its downward spiral into monotonous non-music-related programming, MTV offered sparse, second-rate coverage of the essential music event of the year.

Interview after interview with the average kid in the crowd who wanted the world to know that “Korn is the best freakin’ band in the world!” Fashion tips for festival-goers and Chris Connelly chatting with people in line at the lemonade stand.

But where was the music?

The Woodstock crowd looked like nothing more than a mass of attention-hungry animals driven by the desire to be on TV. At least that’s how MTV portrayed them.

If Woodstock ’99 was a true glimpse of my generation, I am utterly ashamed.

Herds of shirtless rock jocks with their backs to the music flaunting fake facades of excitement, only hoping to snag the attention of any idiot with a camera. Others wooing and shouting at female crowd members in echoing chants of “Show us your tits!” Masses of people bowing before the MTV gods begging them to take notice.

It wasn’t too bad at first, until the novelty wore off and the formula became apparent.

Here was the scheme. Tease the TV audience by showing a 30-second snippet of each performer. Interrupt each song right at the apex of the action. Insert Carson Daly, Serena Altschul or one of the other MTV hosts to plug and promote the pay per view.

From early in the festival, all through the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ finale set, MTV VJs didn’t hesitate to inform us “You can still order the pay per view.”

The cost of the pay per view was $60, giving festival organizers even more of an opportunity to make money.

MTV’s job should have been to show the audience a good sampling of all that was Woodstock — including the music. It should be expected for the network considered to be the authority on music to actually cover the biggest music event of the year for more than a few hours per day.

But MTV saw it fit to run only three-hour specials of its show MTV News 1515, and repeat them several times per day.

Although there was a new installment for each day of the festival, MTV News constantly reverted back to the same prepared segments, providing no new updates, all while claiming the footage was entirely live.

A lame segment from the front lines of a seemingly fabricated war between the “mud people” and the “beer people” aired countless times throughout the weekend. Hearing the same chant of “Mud people rule! Beer people suck!” became stale after the sixth time.

Did intelligent people actually attend Woodstock?

Not until they showed scenes of the aftermath did MTV actually provide a voice for those with something meaningful to say. Monday morning stragglers reflected on the riots, arguing that the motivation for the uprising was the crowd’s desire to get revenge on festival organizers, who sold overpriced merchandise, $4 water and $12 pizzas.

If the crowd truly felt exploited by the Woodstock establishment, MTV should have aired these opinions the moment they were stated.

Instead, the network proceeded to show one-sided coverage throughout the end of the festival. On top of that, MTV ignored or barely touched upon several key incidents at the concert.

Four women reportedly were raped, yet MTV didn’t bother to make an issue out of it.

Rage Against The Machine torched an American flag on stage, intensely echoing the political activism of Woodstock ’69. But the station didn’t care enough to mention it.

MTV’s cue to leave came when the Chili Peppers played the last note of “Fire” as bonfires burned, looting prevailed and anarchy raged on.

Then they cut to “Celebrity Death Match.”

So much for the music revolution.