You can’t even swing a dead cat without hitting an uptight politician who would like to blame the problems of society on the media.

The newest development in the ongoing Columbine saga has to do with R-rated movies.

President Clinton and the National Association of Theater Owners agreed last week that youth should be required to show ID to get into R-rated flicks.

This policy is merely another in a long line of grandstanding public relations acts by politicians.

No one is saying that children should be allowed in R-rated motion pictures, but what is the point in creating a brouhaha about the current process?

Making the box office cashiers ID every young person will tie their hands. The general rule now is that cashiers make a judgment call on whether or not to card people.

Since most theaters already card moviegoers who might be too young to see “The Matrix,” setting the rule in stone is unnecessary.

The way movie theaters are set up, it would be logistically impossible to stop underaged kids from getting into movies they’re not supposed to see. When there are 12 screens and two ushers, you can’t keep track of which patrons decide to saunter where.

The only way to accomplish that would be to put an usher in front of every entrance to every screen, which would not be financially feasible. This would only lead to more kids sneaking in the exits, anyway.

The movie industry realizes these facts. It only wants to come out and take this stand for good public relations.

If it works, next week the National Association of Magazine Editors will be pushing for more stringent rules concerning naked photos in Glamour and violent content in Maxim.

President Clinton and media big-wigs looking to pin the tail on the donkey need to realize that meaningless policies and pointless speeches accomplish nothing.

To solve this problem, they need to step away from the podium and spend time with their children. Unfortunately, that won’t win them any approval points.