By now, most of us on campus have had the chance to personally see Elizabeth Dole in action. Either you saw her speak at C.Y. Stephens early in the Spring, you’re a Tri-Delt and had brunch with her last month, or you’ve caught her on another appearance across the state.

Does she seem phony to any of you? I hate to pass judgment on a lady I have immense respect for, but I don’t buy a thing she says.

Sure, lots of candidates have scripted speeches, but everything the lady says seems to be a script. I bet she says the same things to Bob every night before they go to bed. “Turn out the lights, dear, and did you remember to take your Viagra?”

I know she has been trained for years as a candidate’s wife whose first commandment is “commit no offense, make no news.” But if you want to run for president, Libby, shake things up a little bit. You simply cannot be a viable candidate riding on the fact that you are a Republican, a woman and Bob Dole’s wife. In the last two elections, no one elected a Republican, a woman or Bob Dole himself.

Her speeches are like a talk show without any guests. I was more than disappointed after seeing her speak at Stephens. I wanted to hear her views, her plans; not some stupid stories about the first time she presented a case as a trial lawyer and other thinly disguised self-promoting anecdotes. Who does she think she’s fooling with this fluff?

Last week, she spoke at an old folks home about gun control. Talk about preaching to the choir. What 80-year-old is going to argue against stricter gun laws?

I don’t have a crystal ball or anything, but I foresee Elizabeth Dole as an excellent vice presidential candidate.

Reason number one: Bob Dole said earlier this week he wants to donate money to Senator McCain’s presidential campaign. Either we know who’s sleeping on the couch in that house or we just got a glimpse of the future.

Reason number two: As far as I know Dole is the only candidate who hasn’t committed to the campaign yet. She’s still exploring. Yeah, right. Caution is obviously this lady’s middle name, but this is ridiculous.

Reason number three: She is the perfect sidekick. She doesn’t rock the boat so she won’t screw anything up for her partner (i.e. Ross Perot’s vice presidential pick in 1992).

For example, Dole says things like “I would have handled Kosovo differently than President Clinton.” Well who wouldn’t have? The place is a mess. Now try to picture her at the bargaining table. I doubt her negotiation skills; I doubt her toughness. As president she has to make the hard decisions, and from the puff talks I’ve seen her give, I can’t see Dole ever laying down the law.

She would also be a good cohort because she would bring nothing but good press and female votes to a presidential candidate. Dole would be a good balance to a ticket with someone like McCain. He’s the foreign-policy savvy ex-POW; he’s got big plans for campaign finance and taxes. She’s got domestic policy issues like education, gun control and the ever present family values deal nailed down.

By the way, McCain has been divorced. After being freed as a POW, he had some hard times. He cheated on his wife and what not, they divorced, and then he married a much younger woman. Dole could be the perfect balance to that ticket.

Dole has her token law degree from Harvard, she’s held several cabinet positions, and we can’t forget her stint as the president of the Red Cross. These credentials more than qualify her as a candidate for political office. For the office of president? Probably not, but the office of vice president is feasible.

In fact, I am willing to bet we will see Dole give another one of her Oprah Winfrey campaign speeches at the Republican convention next year for her partner. Whether it’s McCain or Bush remains to be seen. But I have a feeling that Libby has the answer somewhere in her notes.

Sarah Leonard is a senior in journalism and political science from Lawler.