April 16, 1999

So there I was, telling my roommates how they missed Tone Loc showing up at People’s after his show at the Rec and how they could have seen me sing a couple lines of “Wild Thing” when one of Tone’s boys put the mic in my face, when Melissa asked who Tone Loc was.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

It was then that we decided that we should have a roommate bonding session before our various hectic weekend schedules kicked in.

We had already decided that we would all go to the Taste of Veishea Stage Saturday night to see the Sauce Monkeys, but that was just because the girls all think the drummer is hot. Personally, I think the bass player is the best of the bunch, mostly because he’s the only one who looks like a rock star.

But last night was just for the six of us. No guests, no dates and no phone calls, just us. It was kind of like the 4-H lock-ins we used to go to but with less popcorn and more good-natured swearing.

The night began with “Friends,” which at times seems more like reality than fiction in this household.

While we watched our televised counterparts, we decided to play cards so that we were still doing some type of interactive roommate bonding at all times.

All six of us started out playing hearts, but Melissa elected herself conversation moderator after getting the queen of spades eight hands in a row. If things were getting boring, she’d chime in and change topics after less than five seconds of silence.

It’s an impressive skill to watch in action. Someone who is that good at talking about nothing deserves to get paid for her talents. She’s the type of person you bring with you on a job interview or when you meet your girlfriend’s dad so that there’s never a chance for them to ask you any tough questions.

So the five of us played hearts for a while, but then Sydney wanted to quit so she could read us questions out of her “If” book. This book was written by someone like Melissa, who can make you think for hours about meaningless crap and make you feel like your future depends on what flavor of Jell-O you would take with you if you were a superhero caught in a taxi cab during rush hour.

It’s easy. Red.

That left four of us still playing, so we decided to switch to 500. Taylor and I decided to take on Chet and Eddie since they’re cousins and always have to be partners and blah blah blah.

She surprised me. Not only is the girl smart, funny and beautiful, but she likes to play cards, and she’s pretty damn good at it.

Before long, we were setting them on seven-diamond bids and making nine no-trump bids with ease. After nine straight losses, they got pissed and quit.

Taylor wanted to keep playing. So, we started playing gin.

Melissa and Sydney were discussing which member of the “Brady Bunch” would hook up with each of the castaways on “Gilligan’s Island” while Chet and Eddie yelled at each other for playing the joker too soon or not trumping in enough. Taylor and I just kept playing, talking and laughing.

That’s when we realized it was 2 a.m.

Chet and Sydney went off to bed. Melissa went over to some random guy’s house. Eddie retreated to his room to watch Cinemax.

Taylor and I kept playing cards.

It must have been around 5 a.m. when we finally called it quits. It wasn’t that we were tired; we just couldn’t think about runs and sets anymore.

Acting totally on auto-pilot, I asked her if she wanted to watch a movie. Without hesitation, she jumped up off the couch, grabbed “Eight Seconds” and threw it in the VCR.

Then it happened.

She came back to the couch and leaned on me. So happy.

An hour later, I woke up, and we were spooning on the couch. She was still asleep, so I did my best not to wake her as I leaned up and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

I laid back and realized that I had the best life I could ever ask for.

Then I opened my eyes again and saw Eddie, Chet and Sydney sitting on the other couch having their “Great Starts” frozen breakfasts.

They couldn’t talk, couldn’t laugh, couldn’t even blink, but they all had to be thinking the same thing.

Now that’s interactive roommate bonding.