This year’s Veishea will suck ass, or so “everybody” says. But who is “everybody”? For the most part, I haven’t heard too much about Veishea this year.

Sure, last year when it went dry for the first time since the Mesozoic Era it was a big deal. But this year?

I haven’t heard much from anybody concerning Veishea, probably because there does seem to be a widespread feeling of apathy. If you’re not involved with Veishea there seems to be little purpose to the event except to get totally hammered.

Those in greek houses are undoubtedly busting their butts trying to get a float ready for Saturday’s parade, and if you’re in one of the many student organizations you have a booth and display that needs to be set up. But aside from those few students, the majority of ISU students have little to do but sit around and bitch and moan.

Frankly, I don’t have a problem with dry Veishea.

As someone who has lived through three past Veisheas I can honestly say that a dry Veishea is the way to go, and is in fact a better event.

My first two years here I pretty much hated it. I had to endure throngs of drunken guys constantly propositioning my girlfriend as we made our way through the food court. That was during the day, and at night it only got worse.

At the time, I was begging Jischke to declare Ames a free-fire zone. I would have taken my NRA membership and gone to town.

But those were my first two years, and last year proved to be a much more pleasant experience.

For the first time I was able to walk down Welch without tripping over passed-out drunks or having someone puke on my shoes. I even had fun, despite not being one of the alcohol-impaired.

This was because I discovered the “real” Veishea, the one underneath the cesspool of booze. In one day, I watched the parade, went to Stars Over Veishea, did demonstrations for the Biochemistry and Biophysics Club and attended the concrete canoe races.

I will admit it all sounds somewhat lame, but it was fun. Just a different kind of fun.

Looking back, I have a feeling this is what Veishea started off as oh-so long ago.

I seriously doubt the party originally served as a haven for drunken out-of-towners, primarily because Ames was too far away to reach by horse and buggy. For this I blame the invention of the automobile.

But anyway, the point is you can have fun during Veishea without getting so tanked your friends have to push you home in a wheelbarrow.

I mean, if you really wanted to you could dress up in drag and go to “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” at the Varsity Theater. It is an experience I highly recommend you try at least once, and you don’t even need to shave your legs or paint your nails. A padded bra is a good idea, though.

With so many sober things to do there isn’t much of a point to whining about how the university won’t let you drink. Besides, you and I both know that if you want to drink, you can.

Let’s face it. If you can’t drink without getting caught by The Man then you probably don’t deserve to be here. In fact, I think your ass had better enroll at DMACC. I hear they teach remedial courses in pulling the wool over the eyes of RAs.

And is anyone here really going to tell me they don’t have any friends off-campus that are having a party?

If not, I think you had better stop surfing for porn on the web and get out and meet some people.

Otherwise you’re going to have a pretty empty funeral procession when you die of boredom at the age of twenty.

This Veishea I’m going to cross my fingers and pray for good weather, because my friend Mike just took delivery of his new Yamaha sportbike, and we plan on breaking it in this weekend. As long as there isn’t any snow, we’ll be out riding around.

So that’s what I’m doing this weekend, and I know it doesn’t sound very exciting to the hard-core alcoholics out there. But that’s okay, because next weekend I’m going on a bender!

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Aaron Woell is a junior in political science from Bolingbrook, Ill. Let him know if you want to come along to Minnesota next weekend.