You know, I was recently having a beer in the dorms when I learned that the Department of Residence was changing its alcohol laws again.

While this is not surprising in the least, I took a moment to discuss the matter with my intelligent friend who was courteous enough to let me consume in his room.

Next year, I discovered, I will not be allowed to drink in a minor’s room, even though I’ll be 24 and frugal enough to keep my always-limited supply of alcohol to myself.

This incident prompts me to expound on what I see as the decline of the college life.

Perhaps I am only one of the few remaining who believe that maturity must be learned and not forced.

I’d like to share the story of my own years in the dorms, if you don’t mind.

I was lucky enough to end up on a co-ed floor my freshman year.

There, I discovered (much to my parent’s chagrin) visible and obtainable amounts of pot and alcohol, morally casual people and an atmosphere congenial to the class-skipper and booze-fiend.

I stayed on that floor for two years, and as a result, I almost got kicked out of school.

Now you may argue that this is exactly the point: beer bongs are the problem, and we need to get rid of alcohol.

My friends, we all know that you will never get rid of the intoxicating stuff!

Once they took our beer away, we went and got more, went off-campus, stole from someone else’s stash, etc.

But we got our hands on it, and we partied four to five nights a week, ignoring our responsibilities.

My report cards showed the attention I had given to my classes, and I almost went home to Milwaukee to resume my career in the short-order restaurant business.

A few years later, all that crazy stuff has left me … well, MOST of it, anyway!

We all grew up a bit, settled down and started going to class.

Sure, the partying is still going on during our free time, but we recognized that college is just a stepping stone, an enabler for our futures.

No longer do we get tickets for possession, public intox or open bottle.

We don’t miss many classes, and we’re all concerned about grades.

Look, there’s a moral here. We all had to learn this stuff by experimentation. Before we could improve our lives, we first had to mess them up a little.

Any realist would agree: Taking booze or smokes away from freshmen and sophomores will only encourage them more.

And I, for one, say this is a healthy thing.

“Experience through no authority.” Chaucer knew it in the 14th century, but our administration ignores it today.

Take away the college experience, and you take away the meaning of higher education.

Many will disagree with me. Those are probably the same people who tell me that I’m an alcoholic because I want to party during Veishea. So be it.

You all go have a hum-drum weekend whilst I and a select few go about our Hendrix-like experience.

Who will have the better stories to tell at the campfire afterwards? I’ll have my fun, and because I’ve learned my limits, I will still be alive when it’s all said and done.

Free yourselves, students!

Have a blast, but there’s no more Veisheas if you get kicked out of school.

Now there’s a positive message for our youngsters!

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John D. Hosler

Graduate student

English