Quick Es
April 12, 1999
Daily Staff Writer
Quick E of the Day
“Ben Franklin said, ‘Beer is our best living proof that God loves us.'”
Alum Forestry
The Outer Quick Es:
Do not attempt to adjust your Veishea. We are controlling admission. We know who is horizontal. We know who is vertical. We can deluge you with a thousand cut-rate acts. Or isolate you from your friends and family.
You are about to experience the awe and mystery that reaches from the inner mind to …THE OUTER QUICK Es.
The Daily is having a “Quick E Contest!”
Five funny people will read their Quick Es live at the Tone Loc show on April 14.
Would you like to be entered? Who wouldn’t? Send Veishea-related Quick Es with your name and phone number to:
Please stand by …
“What the hell is wrong with our school? Students at the U of I are getting paid $480 to smoke pot every day!”
Freshman
Mechanical engineering
“NATO — North Atlantic Terrorist Organization.”
Senior
Computer engineering
“Wouldn’tÿKY Jelly take care of a dry Veishea?”
Senior
Agricultural systems technology
“It’s like people do things just because they get paid, and that’s just sad.”
Freshman
Journalism and mass communication
“Yea! For a 9.5 percent housing increase, we finally get semi-textured toilet paper!”
Freshman
Political science and sociology
“What’s the difference between Veishea and a birthday party at a rest home? I don’t know either.”
Senior
Psychology and sociology
