The world of sports is calling out to me again, so I, the writer, will tell it to you like it is.

The world of sports has had some major problems, including “Straw” man and the fat guy, transfers and soon-to-be millionaires.

First to the NBA, where the Raptors are beginning to look like a real team. The Canadians are making the trip North of the border a little difficult on teams. Most of this can be attributed to super rookie Vince Carter, who I would deem “el hombre.”

Another surprise is the Houston Rockets. The only team that has players collecting Social Security is in contention to win the West.

Perhaps the biggest surprise of the decade (other than Jack Haley’s unexpected retirement) is the play of the Orlando Magic. The team has been lead by the play of Penny. The guard has been putting up the numbers that will challenge Allen Iverson for the MVP race, but in the end, look for the dark horse.

College basketball is making more news now than it did while it was happening.

The big news of players jumping ship to the NBA is only a small fraction of the news. What do Ron Artest and Elton Brand have in common? The fact that I would like to be their new best friends.

Artest is leaving St. Johns early and will be followed by the first early Devil. That’s right — college player of the year Elton Brand is the first Dukie to leave early under the dictatorship of Coach K.

As if things aren’t bad enough in Cameron, sources say William Avery and Corey Maggette may be thinking, “Abandon ship.”

The loss of Brand, Trajan Langdon and the possibilities of more may have this dynasty sinking faster than the Titanic.

Who’s got the munchies? If you haven’t heard, the pudgy guy was caught and arrested on possession of marijuana. Khalid El-Amin may have an excuse for his weight that I didn’t know about.

An interesting side-note was that Husky stud Rip Hamilton was with El-Amin when he was arrested.

Baseball in the house. The Yankees have their one loss of the year out of the way, but look for the Bronx Bombers to possibly struggle to get to 105 in the victory column this year.

The chemistry is not the same as last year, and the chances of a club avoiding major injuries over a two-year haul is improbable.

Has anyone been watching the Giants? If the season were to end today, Barry Bonds would be the MVP hands down. The San Fran Man hit his 415th career homer on Tuesday night.

Jose Canseco finally topped the 400 plateau, making him the first non-American on the list.

The biggest news of the baseball world is Darryl Strawberry, though. The “Straw” man was once again screwed by “the man.” Supposedly, Strawberry was caught soliciting prostitution and then having in his possession .03 grams of cocaine. Like a man with Strawberry’s reputation would ever do this!

The biggest problem in the world of sports is the lack of R-E-S-P-E-C-T that wrestlers get.

The No. 1 sham is the wrestling props that have not been received by Cody and Cael Sanderson. The brothers win University Nationals, and Cael goes undefeated.

This may not seem all that major to the majority, but Cael is a freshman and one of the best wrestlers in the nation.

Coverage of the brotherly feat could not be found in any major publications on sports, from ESPN Magazine to Sports Illustrated.

The shaft has been given to wrestlers ever since the sport was invented. Recently, it was exploited when the greatest college wrestler of all-time retired from the coaching scene. Instead of a cover on Sports Illustrated, Dan Gable had a two paragraph write-up. Sweet.

If I were the Sandersons, I would personally go to the headquarters of these publications and raise hell.

I am sorry — I broke a promise. I am going to write a little on pro- wrestling after some complaints. The Rock is going to get destroyed after throwing “Stone Cold” from a bridge.

Triple H is a bastard for selling out to The Corporation. The New Age Outlaws will once again be tag team champs, and Sting is back. I will begin to throw in a small little paragraph like this for the pro-wrestling fans out there.

This column goes out to the boys in azure and gold, Minus Zero and Big Chops (he ain’t heavy, he’s my brother). Somebody help Kyle Rahe find his pot o’ gold.

In the meantime, continue to read and contact me if you want to see anything else.

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Brett Noble is a freshman in journalism and mass communication from Ankeny.