“What’s up dog?”

“Not much dog. Me and some other cats are just chillin’.”

“Cool dog. I’ll jump on my hog and head over.”

Animish — America’s latest venture outside the standard English language.

It is rooted in ancient metaphors — sly as a fox, stubborn as a bull, etc. — and our generation has simply dropped the “as’s and likes” (never thought I’d see us use fewer likes) and chosen more common animals.

“Dog,” pronounced “dawg,” comes from the saying “A dog is a man’s best friend” and simply means friend.

It’s a little tricky, however, in that you can only use “dog” when talking directly to someone. You can’t say, “I’m going to the mall with some other dogs.” It just can’t be said.

When talking about someone, you are to refer to them as a cat, pronounced “cat,” (see “Cool As Ice” for exact pronunciation.)

I don’t know exactly where “cat” comes from, but it is usually used in sentences like, “I’m just chillin’ with some cats,” and since all cats really do is chill, I think that is where we got it.

Just as pop culture embraced animal references in the past — The Beatles, The Turtles, The Eagles, Cat Stevens — pop culture has opened up its arms to animish.

Dating back to Snoop Doggy Dogg and Poison’s “Look What the Cat Dragged In,” modern day musicians have relied on animal references like they’ve relied on drugs.

Recent animish-supporting bands include Squirrel Nut Zippers, Babe The Blue Ox, Poi Dog Pondering and Zebrahead.

Notice today’s animal references are much more complex, similar to the animish language.

Most animish words are roots for other animish words. “Cat” has a widely used offspring in “pussy.” However, “pussy” is currently in the process of being faded out and replaced by a much less offensive word: “kitty.”

“Kitty” hasn’t made its way to the Midwest yet, but believe me, it’s huge on the coasts.

Another common example would be the “dog” offspring “bitch,” pronounced “bizznatch.” However, whereas “bitch” in English means “female dog,” in animish, “bitch” means “a man who cheats while playing video games.”

Warning: Never use “bitch” in the same sentence as a female friend or companion or you will be on your knees like a dog.

Other animish terms include fly, fish, rabbit and horse.

If you are a fly, as in barfly, then you are one who spends more time on Welch Avenue than you do on campus.

If you are pretty fly for a white guy, then you are a Vanilla Ice wannabe who wanted a “13,” but they drew a “31.”

Moving on, you are a fish if you drink like one, you are a rabbit if you … enjoy the company of another rabbit of the opposite sex quite often, and you are a horse of you are … physically gifted in the same area as a horse.

Whatever the case, we’re all animals living in a dog-eat-dog world.

Later, kitties.

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Corey Moss is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale.