Can I get a witness? The sports world has been ever changing, and I am here once again to give you all of my opinions about it.

Let’s get the ball rolling with the NBA, where super rookie Paul Pierce has the Beantown fans wearing green once again. The Kansas prodigy has mad skills that have left even some of the premier players in the league shaking their heads in disbelief.

Perhaps the biggest Celtic surprise will be at the end of the year when they return to their below-.500 pace.

Allen Iverson and Chris Webber are on the verge of having breakthrough years; this could help to ease the fan’s pain after the loss of Jack Haley from the league.

Dennis Rodman will be moving to tinsel town, ending three weeks of the most over-hyped talks I have ever witnessed. The talks placed second all-time in my book of things aired on TV, first being the three-month, 2- day and 16-hour Michael Jordan tribute on ESPN. Sure, Jordan has skills, but he was no Jack Haley, who was, without a doubt, the best 12th man ever in the NBA.

Rumorville says that Prime Time may be interested in a return to the diamond. If I were Deion Sanders, I would spend the off-season mending my hurt toe. If I were an opposing manager facing Deion, I would order my pitcher to intentionally throw at him.

Chances are, he will get injured. If, for some freak reason, he avoids injury and decides to charge the mound, you will still have odds in your favor. Let’s level here – I would place money on the pitcher, based on the fact that Deion can’t tackle. Trust me, I have seen place-kickers with more tackling skills than him.

Roger the Rocket will appear in pinstripes, as the Jays sent the flame-thrower to the Big Apple in one of the biggest deals of the off-season. This deal is not only big because of Clemens but because of David Wells’ weight. Wells will report to Toronto where teammates will call him anything but late for dinner.

Football Soldier. No-limit back Ricky Williams has signed Master P as his agent. Williams is expected to be the first player selected in the ’99 NFL draft. Anyone who argues this will get capped by P, or worse, have to listen to that annoying song, “Make um Say Ugh.”

Iowa State Basketball has a promising look for the future. They return the Big 12’s best player, Marcus Fizer. Also returning are studs Michael Nurse, Paris Corner, Martin Rancik, Stevie Johnson and former Georgia Techster and Hardees nemesis, Travis Spivey.

Head Coach Larry Eustachy will look like a genius in the next two years and possibly be a hot commodity in the NBA. Look for the ‘Clones to tear up the Big 12 next year and form into a national powerhouse.

My question is, how did the Iowa State hockey team manage to finish with a No. 1 ranking after the loss of Sean “Big Poppa Pump” Strama? Congrats to the team after averting a tragedy with the loss of a legend (who has been recently spotted washing dishes) and still managing to rip it up on the ice.

On to professional wrestling which has everyone wondering what will happen next. The Ministry of Darkness has thrown a wrench into the plans of the Corporation. In the WCW, Rey Mysterio Jr. beat Big Sexy. What in the hell is that?

Another stunner provided by the WWF was the Big Valbowski suffering a loss at the hands of GoldDust. I have a question: Where is Sting? No one knows.

Back to the business. The biggest match of the night was provided by WCW, though. It had Goldberg facing off in battle against Scott Steiner. Goldberg beat Steiner because of a disqualification.

Eric Lorenz, Iowa State Intramural stud, had this to say of the match: “It was bunk how they cut to commercial in the middle of the match, but in the end Goldberg was Big Poppa Pumps’ hook-up.”

Thanks for reading: I’d like to give a shout out to all of my boys, Ruh Rah Rega. Continue to read. Also, please say a prayer for the family of Chad Freml.

Thanks again.

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Brett Noble is a freshman in journalism and mass communication from Ankeny.