Here’s the assignment from Gov. Tom Vilsack: Pack 153 years of history, almost three million people and the rest of Iowa’s character into one short, snappy message.

Vilsack announced recently that he thinks our state needs a new official slogan. The new governor wants — as do most Iowans — to replace “Iowa, You Make Me Smile” with something else.

Thank goodness.

Iowa can do better than the saccharin, cloying aura of the current slogan and the hokey abstract smile that accompanies it.

Take a look at Iowa — it’s not hard to find something to brag about.

We’re known nationwide for several things: outstanding agricultural production, a top-notch educational system, a low crime rate and clean, honest government.

And don’t forget our small-town hospitality, miles and miles of paved roads and the serenely beautiful Loess Hills.

These attributes are featured in several ideas from Sunday’s Des Moines Register.

“Iowa: We Feed the World,” “A State of Minds” and “Where Communities Care” were just three of the 600 suggestions the Register has received in recent weeks.

We at the Daily decided to come up with a few of our own. Read on.

To highlight our relative lack of murderers and rapists, we propose “Our Gang Members Aren’t As Tough As The Real Ones.”

You’re safe from international terrorists, too. “Live Here — Who’s Gonna Nuke Us?”

And Iowa’s farmers are second to none. “We Feed You, So Stop Making Fun of Us!”

Our schools are among the best. “If We’re So Stupid, Why Do You Send Your Kids Here?”

The stereotype about “it’s boring” isn’t true. “Iowa — More Fun Than a Pantsload of Squirrels.”

Hey, wake up out there! This is a great state, and we want everybody to know about it.

So write down your creative, funny and intelligent slogans. E-mail them to [email protected] and put “slogan” in the subject. Or, mail them to our newsroom in 108 Hamilton Hall, Ames, IA 50010.

We’ll publish some of the most original ones, and we’ll even send the 10 best legitimate entries down to Gov. Vilsack and his team of crack motto-makers.

Start putting those words together — they might pick yours.

But don’t delay. “Iowa — You Make Me Smile” is making us vomit.