Christmastime is here again. Yes, that time of merry celebration has fallen upon us.

It’s a time of love, peace and harmony. It’s a time in which family unites to celebrate the birth of the Christian savior Jesus Christ, right?

Wrong!

It’s a time to have N’ Sync, Babyface and other music industry trash shoveled up your butt.

The music industry wants you to forget the true meaning of Christmas. They want you to believe that it’s about buying more than the Joneses.

Every year the music industry pimps Jesus out to those fat-wallet suits who would rather make Santa Claus their own personal whore than stop and think about the message behind the birth of the Prince of Peace.

Think about it for a second. Do you really think that our nation is sitting around pondering when the Hanson boys were going to release a merry album of yule-time jingles?

I don’t think so.

But hey, it’s Christmastime. It’s time to release a product that will have children across the country giving their parents the puppy-dog eyes, pressuring them into spilling their dollar bills out to a record label that doesn’t give two shits about the well-being of that child’s religious beliefs.

But it’s America, you might say. It’s free enterprise. Nobody makes people spend their money. Capitalism is what this country is built upon.

That’s weird to me because I didn’t see the word capitalism anywhere in the Constitution.

But since so many of you may feel the same way, let’s just entertain your thoughts with a few of my own. If we’re going to sell Jesus, then let’s truly sell his ass out. Why mess around?

All musical fields should be represented in the rape of Christmas.

Sure, the Backstreet Boys and other pretty-boy performers have Christmas records, but what about gangsta rap?

I still haven’t heard the Snoop Dogg hit single, “If Santa Comes Down My Chimney, He’s Gettin’ a Cap in his Ass.”

Or maybe Cypress Hill could do a song called “Me and Santa Smokin’ That Fatty Blunt, Biatch.”

Then there’s the hardcore fans. Why don’t we have a Christmas record? It’s time to make one.

The Deftones could release the long-awaited “I’ll Beat You to Death With This Tree.”

I know Korn must be dying to release “When I Die, Bury Me in Rotten Cookie Dough.”

What about industrial music?

When is Nine Inch Nails going to release the dance club smash, “Christmas Blows Goats Which is Why I’m Such a Depressing Bastard.”

Wouldn’t that be awesome around Christmastime? I guarantee if all the previously mentioned singles were released, they would sell tons of records!

Wouldn’t it be cool if we could mix violent and lewd behavior together with Christmas?

I bet a lot of you think that idea is absurd. But we live in a capitalist society, right? The message doesn’t matter. Making money is all that matters. Nobody makes people spend their money.

The irony is, there are few parents in the world who would allow their children to listen music that defames Christmas.

But most parents will allow their children to believe that Christmas is about the opportunity to get a really cool gift if you’re good, while neglecting to inform them why Christmas even exists.

I would rather have my child believe Christmas is about violent and lewd behavior than have him or her believe it’s about which kid’s parents will buy him the new XJ-9000 Turbo Rockhead Transformer.

Think about that today.

We’ll talk later.

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Chad Calek is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Persia.