I believe the history of the world can be summed up as first the Earth cooled, and then George Lucas made “Star Wars.”

Sure, there are some peripheral issues like major wars and God giving Moses Coke and the Ten Commandments, but they pale in significance to the release of the greatest saga of all time.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about and have never seen “Star Wars,” don’t consider yourself beyond redemption. Just walk down the hall or call a friend and ask to borrow his or her copy. Then take the phone off the hook, tell your roommate to get lost and enjoy the movie.

Even if you consider yourself immune to the first movie, you will not survive the other two. Resistance is futile.

Tuesday night, I saw a vision.

While visiting the CNN homepage, I stumbled across a story on the next “Star Wars” movie, and at the end of the article there was a link to the official Web site at starwars.com.

There I was treated to an advance showing of the trailer for the new movie set for release in May. Simply put, the trailer kicks ass.

The visual effects are stunning, you see all the major actors, and so little of the movie is actually revealed that it can be called a teaser instead of a give-away.

While Web-savvy people can see the trailer now, the masses will have to wait until Friday at the movies.

There, the trailer will be shown before and after “The Siege,” “Waterboy” and “Meet Joe Black.”

Chances are, you will go to one of these movies. You will see the trailer before the movie. Then you will watch the movie. And then you will sit through the credits to that movie just so you can watch the trailer again.

And when you leave the movie theater Friday night, all hell will break loose.

“Star Wars” fever will grip the nation, and there will be total anarchy and social chaos. The government will collapse, though no one will notice or care.

“Star Wars” is a virus. It grows on you until everything you are is consumed by it.

While almost everyone has seen the movie, some of us were infected by it a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. It is this core group, swearing undying allegiance to George Lucas and his promise of lightsabers for the chosen, which will run amuck after Friday.

Despite your best efforts, you won’t be able to stop us. Our enthusiasm is greater than your indifference, and our endless chatter about the movie will subliminally affect you.

After a few weeks of hearing us at the dinner table, you will be converted, becoming a mindless drone unable to do anything but sit and wait for the movie to come out. Your entire life will be put on hold as you camp out in front of the theater weeks in advance for tickets.

It doesn’t take a chemistry major to figure out that the new “Star Wars” movie will go on to become the highest grossing movie of all time, though some art and design majors may have trouble.

After all, the new movie boasts the genius who gave us the original three movies, the full special-effects talent of Industrial Light and Magic, and the incredible acting of Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor and Samuel L. Jackson.

With those resources, not even the late Ed Wood could make the movie bomb, though he’d try his hardest.

Even if the plot were to suck, the acting and special effects would save the day. But we know the plot won’t have any Titanic-sized holes in it because George Lucas has had the past 20 years to write it.

So the movie will be great, everyone will see it at least seven times and every kid in America will own his or her own Death Star play station.

But what does this mean to you and me?

For the university, it will mean a lot. Federal block grants will be handed out to advance research in Star Wars technology and students everywhere will switch their majors to electrical engineering and physics as they try to make their own lightsabers.

I bet NASA will be given a boatload of money to perfect a lightspeed drive, and public opinion will surely demand that the Smithsonian include a replica of the Millennium Falcon. After that, who knows?

For now, we can only sit and wait for the movie to come out.

May the Force be with you.

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Aaron Woell is a junior in political science from Bolingbrook, Ill.