J. Crew clothing has become a big part of many college students’ wardrobes. But even the most avid J. Crew fan, with a closet full of crew neck sweaters and a drawer packed with cargo chinos, must admit the catalogs are a little, well, unrealistic.

This obvious lack of reality is what newcomer Justin Racz mocks, much to the delight of readers, in “J. Crewd: A Parody.”

Racz explains, “When you read the catalog you wonder, why is everybody smiling? Why is that guy having so much fun playing darts? Why are there two girls and a guy in a kitchen holding a six-foot sub? Isn’t it too early for lunch? These are the questions J. Crewd asks.”

The answers that Racz gives are alluded to on the cover, which features a surprised-looking young model reading the J. Crew catalog while on the toilet with his well-tailored boxers around his knees.

No item, no matter how cozy or warm, is safe from the scrutinizing eye of Racz. The popular selling J. Crew “rollneck sweater” is transformed into a J. Crewd item by extending the roll all the way over the head and being titled “the rollhead.” It’s also recommended by four out of five ugly people.

The ever-popular “barn jacket” is made into the “field jacket” by being covered in hay and oat buttons. The coat is completed with straw bale vents and is priced at a reasonable J. Crewd cost of $89.

Racz will stop at nothing to get a laugh out of readers, going to such lengths as adding a J. Cloning section, which reads, “Here at Hillbushy, we breed ’em the old-fashioned way — in a tube. We make sure each baby gets plenty of fresh air, sunlight, and the right amount of grass for grazing. From the womb to you, we don’t just make babies, we forge families.”

Though sick and twisted, any reader can’t help but laugh at child descriptions that read, “The Timmy: robust, gay: $21,000” and “The Baby: likes big nipples.”

Not even underwear is left alone by Racz with the invention of J. Crewd “intimate pockets” — “Because every girl has a secret.” All types of women’s underwear are enhanced with a pocket, complete with a model using the pocket for a variety of things including pens, pencils and even a pager.

This “catalog” has something for everyone, whether it happens to be an item from “The TK Unabomber Jacket Collection” or a “canine cardigan.”

“J. Crew is the first catalog to sell a 20-something lifestyle that seems to say, ‘we’re rich but don’t have jobs and can spend unlimited hours in polo shirts on yachts and walking on beaches,'” Racz says. “J. Crewd is saying, ‘let’s take a step back, look at ourselves, and have a good laugh.'”

4 stars out of five

Kelsey Foutch is a sophomore in journalism and mass communication from Waterloo.